Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of big kids (5 to 8 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

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Rude

deleted_user
deleted_user
My daughters attitude is getting worse by the day. She's extremely rude and does not think about others feelings. It's all about her. Where she got this attitude I do not know. She is not spoiled, given things just because. She has to earn what she gets.
She has no regard for anyone or anything. She just doesn't get it and I am getting tired of her nasty attitude. Isn't this supposed to happen in the teens? Not at 8. Any advice???
I've tried grounding her, taking allowance away, making her right a report on the right way to be respectful, etc.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My son is 9, and he acts like a teenager sometimes, too. It sounds like you're doing the right things. Be patient. Sometimes they're stubborn and thick headed and just take awhile to figure it out. Also, if you haven't, make sure there's nothing bothering her that might be coming out as rudeness. I'm not sure exactly what she's being rude about, but my son seems to get it when we give him a dose of his own medicine. For example, if I ask him for help bringing in the groceries and he gives me attitude about it, I ignore him and do it myself. Then when he asks me to do something for him, I say "I'm too tired from bringing in all the groceries by myself." After doing this several times, I've seen a lot of improvement, I think because he sees the value in respect rather than respect being something that we have a power struggle over. Good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Have you try to sit down and talk to the child with respect and understanding?

I have a 6 year old and a 5 year old and they are wonderful kids but we give them unconditional love and respect we sit and play with then and try to understand what is going on

Many times we find out that something is going on in the school and that is the reason as to why they are angry.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes I have tried that also. I have asked her how she would feel if other people treated her this way. I have asked her why she feels the need to do this. I have asked her if this is the way she would want me to treat her.I have talked with the teachers to see if anything is going on at school that she doesn't tell me about.
I am just at the end of my rope with this behavior.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You write
"have asked her how she would feel if other people treated her this way. I have asked her why she feels the need to do this. I have asked her if this is the way she would want me to treat her."

Sorry but I don't think this is taking and lessening as she grows older she is going to get worse. Can you go to therapy with her?

Under her angry feelings she has others like scare and those are the feelings that you need to know to change them.

She is not going to tell you her real feelings with your questions.

Close your eye and see your self at her age. What kind voice and question would you ask to your 9year old?
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