
Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of big kids (5 to 8 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

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My daughter loves to have play dates with her school friends. We try to do it every other week, either at her friends' house or ours. No matter where, we usually ask at least two days ahead of time. So do other parents. But there is one mom always calling at last minute. Couple of times, I asked them two day in advance and the mom replied at last minutes. When her daughter wants a play date, she also calls at last minutes. My daughter enjoys the girl very much and we love to have her at our house. My daughter loves to go to her house to play too. It just the way mom handling it bothers me. The mom is a very sweet and warm-hearted person. She always apologize sincerely for calling back late. I know she has a busy life and her daughter has a lot of play dates. But I really don't feel comfortable about how she handles this. I gave her a hint before, and she apologized. But she is still doing it. What should I do?
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But maybe try what someone said"sorry since we didn't hear from you we made other plans."
Another issue is that my child is moody. Before I got his food allergies under control, I never knew if it was going to be a good day or not, if he was going to have a reaction to something or not. They also have the divorce which sometimes makes them a little needy, and on those days we stay home and cuddle a lot. I thought it would be worse to make plans and then cancel at the last minute. If people have to say no, I totally understand, I just couldn't take my child someplace and have him melt down. Now that is a bridge-burner. And sometimes as a single parent I am just overwhelmed with the number of things I have to do, remember, and respond to and I just can't make one more decision right now.
You never know why things are different for other people. If you can be flexible, then try to do so, if it is a visit that you want, with people you like. From her point of view, if she is dealing with something complex, it may just look like you have a set way of doing things and can't be flexible, for no good reason, other maybe than Miss Manners says there ought to be 2 days of notice for all playdates. Maybe at some point you'll understand why she is this way and it may make sense. Give her the benefit of the doubt.
I have some good friends now, and they are people who have been flexible and understanding with my constraints. I'm so grateful that they know that I"m not blowing them off or trying to be inconsiderate. You say she is sweet and warm-hearted. Maybe it's worth giving it a chance.
We all have gotten so busy that we all have such a crazy life.ANd we forgt the other person that is having some type of a struggle right then.
But if someone has a habit of postponing att he last minute (happens with certain people) Here I am left to try and explain it tot he child who is very upset that was looking so forward to that play date.
There are times I am like NOOOOOOOO....I can't do one more thing. I have had a busy week and don't feel like I could go anothor step. But I make myself and usually I feel better for it afterwards.
I to am going thru lots with a custody battle etc..... AS a Grand parent raising another child,I have a business,plus home work,dinner etc....I put everything on the calendar. This starting all over again is really hard.
Also what I do is I never tell the little one the plans until I confirm that day or the day before and that away she doesn't have that extra disapointment in her life.I also notice less melt downs if she has those play dates.
Didn't mean to rattle, but I agree with both sides...........and no I am not running for anything............