Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of big kids (5 to 8 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

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Hyper 5 year old

I have a 5 year old daughter who seems to be so hyper. I don't know what to do. By the end of the day, I am so exhausted. Some of the of the main things are talking constantly, hanging on me, making loud noises, talking loudly, uses baby talk, extremely bouncing off the couch, has a hard time keeping hands to herself like grabbing her little sister, hugging and squeezing her, or picking her up constantly, is very dramatic, etc. She's not a real defiant or desctructive child, just doesn't listen a lot. Sometimes she comes across as disrespectful. She hears me when I ask her to do things, but starts playing around and ignores me. I really worry about her at school. She just started kindergarden. I want her to make friends and be happy. I don't know what to do. She can be very caring and sweet at times, but sometimes seems out of control. I am a very health consious person and don't allow her a lot of processed and junk food. So i don't think that's it. She sleeps well at night. I spend time with my kids often doing recreational things. Sometimes I feel like a failure as a parent. I don't know if it's something i am doing. I ask her often to use inside voices, use personal space when it comes to her sister, to not grab onto me and pull me, etc. Nothing seems to be working. It's like she can't calm herself. down. I've tried asking her to count to 10 and take deep breaths. That seems to work for a minute, but doesn't last long. I'm starting to worry whether she might have ADHD especially since her father has it. Anybody have any suggestions?



You could always make an appointment with someone who specializes in ADHD and get her evaluated. It wouldn't mean you would "have" to do medication, but at least then you would know.

One thing that might help is cutting out any food dye ... it's really hard to do though because it's in everything, even macaroni and cheese unless you buy an all natural brand.

She does sound a lot like my son when he was 5 yrs old. He does have ADHD. But, some of it could just be maturity, I know even before my son was on medication for his ADHD, he did get better as he got older too. He started on medication at 6, but was much better about many things at that time.

We were very anti medication, but then we started reading some books that are by kids who are in college now, and they tell about how medication helped, and how having ADHD made them different. My son has a great self esteem, but from reading the books, it sounds like many kids with ADHD do end up having esteem problems from feeling different from others, getting in trouble a lot and other things. The kids / young adults wrote how much medication helps them blend in with the other kids, and that they are glad they take it. This was really what made us decide to at least try medication.
Just keep in mind too, that if you do make an appointment, it is usually a long wait to get in. Then depending on where you go from there, followups are far between because the docs are often so busy. We've been working on medication, and getting the right one for my son for a year ... it's definitely not a quick process, unless you are lucky and the first medication is the one that works.
For example, we started off with Concerta, and it made him not eat. Then we went to Vyvanse, and it didn't do anything. Then we went to Straterra (which he takes now), and it might help some but we are not really sure. We just added Intuniv, siince impluse control seems to be his main issue and the Straterra does nothing for that. Then along the way we have fine tuned the discipline and are finding things that work better for him.
There are always good days and bad days though!
Take care!

One of my sons has been the same way since he was a couple months old. Only difference is he is also very aggressive. I had been fighting for years to get him tested for ADHD. Finally this year he was. Turns out he has "clinical significance"

I felt the same things you do. Like I was a bad mom. He didn't listen. Very active. I watched what he ate. Didn't give him sugars, sodas, mostly healthy. Even looked up diets on the internet for kids with ADHD. I tried several diefferent ones.

I told the doctor I didn't want a drugged kid. Just one that acted like a normal kid. Not full out tantrums, aggressive where I feared for my other boys. They put him on a low dose medicine that has made dramatic changes. He is still a kid. He argues with me, pouts when he doesn't get his way. But he is calmer. He can sit still for longer then 3 seconds, he doesn't go and hit his brothers for no reason.

Just make it clear to your peditrician that you don't want to put her on medicine just don't want her behavior to effect her school. There are also play groups that they watch what the children do and how they react to different situation.
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