
Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of big kids (5 to 8 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
Daughter getting into fight at bus stop

deleted_user
Okay the principal called today and told me that my daughter got into a fight at the bus stop with some other kids. My daughter told me she was having problems with kids bullying her and we had talked about how to handle this. Apparently that advice I gave went out the window today. The girls threw her backpack in the dumpster and then when Caylie got her backpack out they threw it on top of the apartments. So Caylie proceeded to hit one of the girls and the fight was on.
She now has after school detention along with the other children but how do I handle the bullying from the other girls along with teaching Caylie it was wrong to fight?
Any advice would be helpful.
She now has after school detention along with the other children but how do I handle the bullying from the other girls along with teaching Caylie it was wrong to fight?
Any advice would be helpful.
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I don't know.
I once told my daughter that if anyone was ever bothering her to take the proper steps such as tell an adult, tell me (so I could perhaps contact parents and raise holy hell...) or if she needs to defend herself, then she has every right to take any step necessary to protect herself (as a last resort, of course...)
I don't condone violence, but I have a feeling your daughter had just 'had it' at the point where she struck the other girl. I guess you can be patient and 'turn the other cheek' only so much...
Is there a way you can contact the other parents and talk? (Though it could cause more strife than not...)
Is there maybe a way you could monitor what goes on at the bus stop, even if you are perhaps out of sight so it's not 'embarrassing' for her? If you know any other parents, maybe you could put together a group where a parent is present at the bus stop to thwart any misbehavior and bullying. Trade off days or something.
Certainly a tough situation. In my head I was thinking 'good for her (your daughter)...' when I read your post.
I don't like bullies.
However, if it only happens at the bus stop itself, it sounds like you may need to make your presence known and talk to the parents of the other girls.
Talk to her about trying to use the resources around her, but don't punish her for hitting, it sounds like they deserved it (though I wouldn't actually tell her that :)
Good luck to you!
I think it's time to involve the school and the other parents. Put pressure on the school to involve the other parents - don't try to contact them yourself. You never know.
My little man is nearing black belt level and they are trained from day one to always try to resolve disputes peacefully. They are also told to NEVER EVER be the first to strike - ONLY IN SELF-DEFENSE. With that understanding, use your karate and training in self-defense or, obviously, in protection mode of a loved one, etc. Basically, responsibly.
He has our full support if he's in a position to HAVE TO defend himself, even at school, especially against someone bigger.
Maybe I'm off base and not very PC, but I will defend him with my last breath if he's in trouble at school for defending himself.
Maybe once he gets a little older and reach black belt, those bully snots will think twice before crossing him. In that situation, it will be time and money well spent if it saves him later grief from bullies.