Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group

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Allowance

deleted_user
deleted_user
I think this has been posted before, but I couldn't find it. My (almost 9y.o.) d/s has been coming home from school making claims that everyone in his class gets an allowance for doing chores (and some are pretty outrageous amounts!!!). He doesn't get an allowance for two reasons:
1. I don't feel he should be paid to be a member of the family and pitch in like we all do AND
2. I never received an allowance growing up. If I wanted extra money, I'd pet sit and then, when I got older, babysit for friends, family & neighbors. I think he's too young for allowance....maybe it's just me, but I think it's frivilous, unecessary and contributing to the growing list of THINGS that kids have and don't need (mine included...with his iPod and game systems galore).

What does he need chore money for at his age? He get's birthday money, money at Christmas AND occasionally, we treat him to a little something for an exceptional test score or report card ON TOP OF the small fortune "earned by the tooth fairy!" Aside from that, he's absolutely swimming in extracurricular activities, social events, toys, gadgets and "all the right clothes!"

Am I wrong...I get that it could teach him how to save money, but he has another 5,6,7 years to learn that & I just don't feel I should owe him money for taking out the trash when it's a job I just expect of him anyway....Now, extra jobs above and beyond I could see offering to pay him a little for, tasks during spring/seasonal cleaning and extra little things. Am I just talking around myself to ease my guilt about the whole thing or does anyone else out there share my viewpoint. Feedback is appreciated :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with you 110%! My husband and I went round and round about this a few months back and I gave in and we started giving our 6 year old $2/week to complete his "responsibilities" and that quickly ended. First, our son had trouble understanding the value of the money and second it did seem to make him think that the only reason to do something was for money. My husband was convinced and we nipped that in the bud. For some families, I am sure this is a great "tool" but for us it just did not bring the attitude or the results we were looking for. We would much rather teach our son the value of hard work as a part of life and the reward of helping others in kindness and keep the value of a dollar seperate.
deleted_user
deleted_user
we dont do the allowance thing either. the kids are responsible for cleaning their room and taking out the trash, and putting their clothes away after laundry is done. Now if dad is outside doing yard work and he doesnt ask them to help and they by themselves go out there and start helping then we give them a few dollars. or if i am in kitchen cooking or cleaning and they decide to help me then we pay them a bit. so when they do anything extra not on their chore list without being asked, we give them a bit of money or do something like buy them a prize or take them to their fav place to eat. this works for our family
mechellebelle
mechellebelle
i'm on the fence, though my child is only 5...
but I recall from my own childhood that our (very small) allowance wasn't related to chores at all. It was a little like a right of passage...you're getting older and you get so much each week to save or spend, but the consequences are also yours...

my twin brother always SAVED, I always SPENT, so every few months he'd buy something really cool that I couldn't.

I think it was good for learning, PLUS, if we wanted *anything* my parents would ALWAYS say, use your allowance if you want ____. and that got us off her back. and they didn't go out and buy us stuff unless it was our birthday or christmas, that was it, so if we wanted something, the allowance was it until we were old enough to babysit, etc.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We don't give kids allowance as a reward for doing chores. We teach them that helping around house is every family member's responsibility. It is a VALUE which can not be bought by money. But we do give them $2/week for allowance. We started it at the beginning of the year right on my daughter turning 5(my son is 7). We told them that they are in charge of what they want to buy, such as books, toys.... After ten months of money managing experience, they learned how to save for what they really want. We believe that they do need some allowance to satisfy their "spending flexibility." But not because they did something for the family. Hope it helps:).
deleted_user
deleted_user
Actually I do give my 4 year old an allowance. It's a 1 dollar a week for taking her clothes to the laundry room, making sure the dog food and water bowl is full, putting shoes away, folding the small towels, drying and putting away her bath toys, putting all the grocery bags into their drawer.

These are all things she doesn't need to do but she wants to help me. I don't ask her to do it and I like that she wants to. We told her that if she would like we would give her a dollar at the end of the week and with that she could use it at the gas station to get her gatorade that she likes to have after her soccer practice. She's not allowed to have anything but milk and water at home so it's a treat for her.

It also stops her from asking for stuff when we stop at the gas station. If she doesn't have any money for gatorade she'll just drink her water instead and not even ask me to get her anything.

Maybe it's too much of a lesson for at this age but it's stopped her constantly badgering me for stuff and the last time I let her pick something out at the store she seemed surprised and genuinely thankful.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks to all for your feedback. I'm thinking I'll probably incorporate both schools of thought. I do still feel that d/s shouldn't be compensated for being a member of the family and pitching in "for the team." However, I do want him to learn to save and manage money sooner than later & I like the idea of him NOT badgering me for things every time we go to run errands. I'm still forming my plan, but you were all VERY helpful. Thanks again :)
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