
Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of big kids (5 to 8 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
Advice for my 5 yr old having school issues

deleted_user
I'm going through a really rough time with my daughter. She is 5 years old and is well behaved at home, she occasionally whines for things or is disobedient but for the most part shes a good kid. She is an only child and I am a single parent, she hasnt seen her father in about three years. For some reason or another when she goes to school she turns into another child, a child I have never seen with my eyes and a child that is so hard to believe is mine. She has been in Kindergarten now for approx. 3 months and has had about 5 or more office referrals. As we speak she is on a one day suspension for kicking two administrators when they tried to get her to go willingly to the office. She is disrespectful towards her teacher and other adults at school as well as the other children. This is so hard for me to talk about because I keep questioning my parenting but I continue to try new discipline with her and nothing seems to be working. This is a very serious issue and I'm so perplexed as what to do. I finally made an appt. with a child physchologist. I am very spiritual and believe in the higher power of God. I'd like to think of myself as a hard working, dedicated, young single mother. I have received my Bachelor's degree at the age of 23 reagrdless of getting pregnant directly out of high school and having her at the young age of 19. Im stuck at a very difficult time in my life and finally decided to console someone (which is you!). I have a lot of friends or co workers but no one I can confide with on this situation. I know every child is different but its so hard for me to understand why me? Why is my child so misbehaved? Shes the only child in the classroom who had to be put on a behavior contract very early into the year. I always praise her and remind her of the importance of making good choices. When it comes to ADD/ADHD I am very ignorant and quite frankly I would hate to have to put my child on any type of medication for that at such a young age. Well this is a basic overview of my story, any care to comment or offer any type of advice or parental recommendations? Thank you and God Bless.
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I had a bit of an opposite problem after my daughter's little sister was born. She was a complete angel at school (first grade at the time) and at home she turned into something that might have been in need of an exorcism. It was just her punishing us for daring to bring another into her spotlight. Things are much better now, of course, with time for adjustment.
I like Nekeybaw's idea of reward and consequence for her behavior at school. A whole good week at school might mean a Friday trip to the ice cream parlor. Bad days might take away privileges...good days might earn them back. Maybe a calendar / chart stuck to the refrigerator so she can see her progress for the week/month.
If that doesn't work, maybe look into your school's resources for counseling. She just might be having a tough time and in need to talk about it with someone.
I would look into medication as a very last resort at a pediatrician's advice.
In most states, K isn't required, and if she is ahead intellectually, she won't miss anything by being out.
Are you able or willing to change jobs? You could become a day care or after school care provider for other children, which would enable you to spend more time with her. It seems that the time you spend with her, is working much better.