My two used to be like this - 2.5 years apart in age - It does get wearing, I can sympathise. They are now 6 and nearly 9 and they do still have the occasional spat, but get on much better. They will still row though, but it soon stops. My two completely adore each other too, and would do anything for each other, but will row with no one else like their sibling.

Have you tried a reverse star chart? instead of rewarding good behaviour, you give them a sad face each time they fight. A smiley face each time they are good. at the end of the week if the good smilies outweigh the bad, they get a small treat, if not they don't.

My suggestion, a few layers of duct tape on your sanity.lol. Mine are; girl 22 mos younger than boy. Same thing, their love for one another is boundless. Like avalanche, mine have mellowed with age, I use a similar method as well, allowance gets docked. Mostly I try to explain to my son, it's not okay to hit. It is particularly offensive to lash out at a girl who is smaller, no matter what she did, walk away. To my little girl I take aside and tell her, this is absolutely not okay. (She usually instigates) I could use some advice too. Though, I can tell, this is one of those 'they'll grow out of it' things.

The fighting sucks doesn't it?! I deal with it as well with my girls. However I've been told it will never end... geez I hope so!!

Anyway I do have a suggestion that does help just a little but a little does go along way doesn't it?!
When my girls are fight I tell them they won't be allowed to play with each other or talk to each other if they are not going to be nice. They generally don't listen to the warning, why would they? Anyway when they continue on with the fighting I separate them and tell them they are not allowed to play with each other or talk to each other for 30 minutes. So for 30 minutes they have to play by themselves. They hate it. I see them looking at each other like "I SO WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!!".

Now this hasn't completely stopped the fighting because come on it can't be done with siblings however the fighting has lessened. Which is all I really wanted in the first place.

GOOD LUCK

Thanks!! I appreciate the input! xoxo

I can't help you. I have three boys and sometimes I just lock them in the yard and let them have at it. (-:

I just wanted to tell you I read the responses to your posting with interest this evening. In fact I just joined this group this evening after my just turned 9 year old son got in a shoving match with his 5 year old brother who landed on the wood railing of his captain's bed and has now been at the ER with my husband for almost 4 hours awaiting stitches!! My boys do love each other to death, but after tonight I'm afraid they're going to fight each other to death, too! Tonight's incident is breaking my heart. i remember fighting with my brother and sister, and it's the thing I think I regret the most now that I know how hard it is to deal with as a parent.

While Sibling Rivalry is normal and actually healthy... it can drive a person insane!

I highly recommend a book called "Siblings Without Rivalry," by Faber and Mazlish. It is by the same people who wrote "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk."

I also do the "time-out" for both kids -- if they argue too much and can not resolve an issue on their own. If they are fighting over an object or a TV show... than neither one of them will get the toy and there will be no TV. I try to let them come up with solutions between the two of them and sometimes they need a little coaching but it's so much better than it use to be!

Good Luck!