
Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of big kids (5 to 8 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
Have you tried a reverse star chart? instead of rewarding good behaviour, you give them a sad face each time they fight. A smiley face each time they are good. at the end of the week if the good smilies outweigh the bad, they get a small treat, if not they don't.
Anyway I do have a suggestion that does help just a little but a little does go along way doesn't it?!
When my girls are fight I tell them they won't be allowed to play with each other or talk to each other if they are not going to be nice. They generally don't listen to the warning, why would they? Anyway when they continue on with the fighting I separate them and tell them they are not allowed to play with each other or talk to each other for 30 minutes. So for 30 minutes they have to play by themselves. They hate it. I see them looking at each other like "I SO WANT TO TALK TO YOU!!!".
Now this hasn't completely stopped the fighting because come on it can't be done with siblings however the fighting has lessened. Which is all I really wanted in the first place.
GOOD LUCK
I highly recommend a book called "Siblings Without Rivalry," by Faber and Mazlish. It is by the same people who wrote "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk."
I also do the "time-out" for both kids -- if they argue too much and can not resolve an issue on their own. If they are fighting over an object or a TV show... than neither one of them will get the toy and there will be no TV. I try to let them come up with solutions between the two of them and sometimes they need a little coaching but it's so much better than it use to be!
Good Luck!