I went to Wal-Mart today and saw someone that ran with the group of meth people I use to be around. He recognized me and my instant paranoia kicked in. He was just standing there with his girlfriend looking at me and was talking to her. I never liked him when I first met him because is an asshole that thinks he's the shit. I know he was saying shit because she turned around to look at me. I had 500 questions going throw my mind. Is he going to go back and tell everyone he saw me? What's he plotting against me? What is he saying about me to his girlfriend? Is he going to follow me to my house? Will he see the car I'm driving? I hate feeling like that. Then, I thought to myself, I am better then him because I quit using meth and i'm not part of that group anymore. It feels great to be away from the whole meth group and I wish I would never run into any of them. I just have to stay positive and I shouldn't care what anyone of those people think because I'm sober. Just seeing anyone a part of meth makes my paranoia worse. I already have a hard time with it when I'm around people I trust or even people I dont know. I am always thinking that someone is going to plot against me or hurt. I can turn nothing into something BIG and freak myself out. Ugh! Last night I was over at a friends house with a couple people and I was thinking to myself, why is everyone acting so nice, why do they keep going outside(they don't smoke in their house) and then I'm like who are they out there talking to. Then when I saw them looking over towards the window, I'm thinking who's out there!! I just want to feel safe and really the only place I feel safe is at home!
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