I have been suffering from extreme paranoia since I was about 6 years old. I am 26 years old now and it had been getting better but now I am noticing it is getting worse again. I just wanted to share my form of paranoia in the hopes that someone out there feels something similar. Everyday from the second I open my eyes until the moment I go to sleep I feel eyes on me. I feel like I am being watched. The problem is that I do not accept this belief as true. it is a lie and I do not accept it but I always feel it and it is exhausting. Whenever I see a person out in the world I can feel there eyes on me and I imagine every single possible perception and criticism this person could possibly have of me. It is an automatic feeling and it is very hard to stop. When I am alone in my room i can feel thousands of eyes on me. If all of the windows are closed and the blinds shut I feel less eyes on me but they do not completely go away. If I open the blinds the amount doubles. I feel like I am giving a presentation to the class and all eyes are on me. This feeling never leaves me. It is annoying because I do not feed into it. I know it is nonsense but I do not know how to stop it. I have taken many prescribed drugs to no avail. For me to be able to connect with someone that feels similar in anyway would be truly life changing. Does anyone out there feel anything similar? I know someone in this great big world feels what I feel, sheds the tears that I shed, that their brain bleeds from exhaustion like mine, and that they feel alone in the most extreme possible way because no one can understand. Where are you?
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