I've been having panic attacks for 3 years now. And it isn't very encouraging to look on here at people who've had them for like 20. So pretty much I have nothing to look forward to. I don't know if I can take these for my whole life. I hate feeling like im dieing and each time a new symptom will arise and I'll be tempted to go to the E.R but I can't because I already have wayyy too much debt from hospital bills, because of my panic disorder. I can understand why people commit suicide with this disorder. Every day I fear that im dying. I can't die I have to be strong for my daughter, but if I didn't have her I don't know if I'd wanna live like this. Its very frustrating and the only people I have to talk to about it are you people on here because I have yet to find someone around where I live that suffers from it. So even though I read of all of the people who do have it I still feel so alone. Im sick of being looked at like I have 3 heads or like im just looking for attention. I dont ask for these things. I just wish I could be normal. Im 21 years old and sit home, I wish I could go out like everyone else but I cant get over the fact that im probably gonna have an attack and no one will understand, and it will just ruin my night anyways. I dont want to live like this. I want to be fun and energetic for my daughter, but these things bring me down, to the point where I dont wanna do anything. It's getting bad, I have one pretty much every day if not a couple times a day, and when im not having one im in fear of another attack. My daughter is the only thing giving me strength. Otherwise who knows what would happen. Its so hard to face this on my own. They need a cure because this is no way to live. I only have one life to live and this is not how I want to spend it. I've tried numerous things to try to help my attacks, and I just can't they are controlling my life. And it needs to stop.....
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