Omg last night/this morning (it was 2.00 am) I was talking to Michael and we were talking about something I dont really remember wat it was about. And somehow we got to talking about wat had happened to him when he was younger which led me to have a flashback of wat happened to me my freshmen year in high school and was at a party. I am still not able to talk about it to this day. But all of sudden I started having these really bad chest pains and having problems breathing. i thought I was just going to die. and at that time I did just to stop the pain and agony. I was really scared I had no idea why this was happening I had never had a panic attack this bad in a long time. And wat was worst was that I was on the phone with Michael. And he wanted me to got to the hospital. I think he was more scared then I was because he had no idea wat was going on. I kinda new wat was happening but I was still really scared. I felt so bad for scaring him like that but after a few minutes it passed. I thought I was going to be okay.and then we started talking again and we were telling each other how we wanted to see each other really bad so joking around he told me to get in my car and drive to go see him I told him i wldnt because I am scared to death to drive at night because of the accident back in September. Then I started freeking out again and crying really bad and was having problems breathing again. It got so bad that I had to get off the phone with him. I was really scared. But once I calmed down I got back on the phone and gave him a call jst to let him know that I was okay. He was glad I called I just didnt want to worry him anymore. He was not feeling good as it was and I felt really bad. It took me forever to fall asleep I had so much stuff on my mind it was terrible I think I fell asleep around 3 this morning and had to get up at 5 for school.
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