Panic Attacks Support Group
A panic attack is a period of intense fear or discomfort, typically with an abrupt onset and usually lasting no more than thirty minutes. Symptoms include trembling, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, sweating, nausea, dizziness, hyperventilation, and sensations of choking or smothering. Panic attacks can be very sudden, appear to be unprovoked, and are often...
" Now the panic attacks are starting and I don't know what to do.
I can feel it rising up in my chest, anxiety like nothing I have gone through before in 42 years. Honestly it's like acute anxiety and it's severe. I can't get my breathe, dizzy, confused..... i'm dealing with the following problems now that he walked out on me - he left me quite a mess:
1. I'm driving his car (if he LETS me) until April. I have not asked "permission" yet but I really need it for about 8 weeks until I can get one. I don't know how helpful and charitable he will be on that because he is paying my car insurance as we have a joint policy and if I know Joe he will want to nix that fast. The car is not running right and I am scared to death everytime I drive it. It has a slow oil leak, and the engine revs up funny when I first start it. It's also running hotter than it should. I am a nervous wreck.
2. This is a two person household with him in it, and now on my own I have only half the money for the finances it takes to run this house on bare bones. I can't get a job because I have to be here at night for my daughter who's 8, and my 12 yr old son is being virtual schooled at home which means I have to prod him and help him. He was getting F's at regular school, all sorts of issues and problems. Now he is pulling A's. So going back to "school" is not an option as far as I can see. This means that I need to be here during the day for him, and here at night for her and him. So I am stuck here. I type VERY fast. I used to ebay but the market is so oversaturated now and ebay's fees are a joke. So I am really, really stuck. I'm scared to death and I can't sleep at night. He will be better off without me financially, but I was dependent on him and now I am sooo screwed.
Before he left he ever told me since the house is in our names jointly but he alone is on the mortgage, that if I didn't pay the mortgage he didn't care and would let the house go into foreclosure. I lived in this house for 10 years. He was here for 2. He promised me he would never take a penny out of the house if it didn't work out between us, but now I just don't know anymore. I do not trust him AT ALL. I feel I served a purpose for him.
He brought alcohol into this home and I would drink with him on the weekends, but now I am drinking more. I got scared because yesterday morning I woke up and had the shakes and a major hangover. My body does not like what I'm doing to it. I'm smoking too much, and sometimes I pop a xanax. I just do not know how to cope with the feelings of loneliness, the abandonment by him, all the natural feelings of "what is he doing now" "does he even care" (um, NO HE DOESNT).... the reality is setting in that he is not just gone for a week; he deserted our relationship totally to find greener pastures and take care of Number One.... leaving me in a terrible lurch to fend for myself here.
I just don't know what to address first.
The mortgage? (my father will re-fi it for me, thank God, but he is 89 years old and I don't know if that will pose a problem)
or should I address how much Joe "wants" from the house in terms of money? He's a misleading manipulator who promised me he wouldn't do this to me, but now again I do not know what he is capable of. It's all about him.
What about the bills? What do you do when you can't leave the house? I mean can't. I have to be a mom first, but how can I do that when I can't cover the necessities? I can't do welfare or food stamps because I make about $2200/month which is over the poverty level.... so I am really on my own here.
These panic attacks are getting worse. My breathing is shallow. I won't even spend a $10 co-pay to see a doctor right now and I'm literally scared about spending a penny on milk. I have about $500 to my name. not enough for one month's worth of bills.
how could he do this to me. i guess that is the question that keeps rolling around in my head. The overt abuse, the ignoring me.... I could have lived with it because at least I had a roof over my head. I never took him for being capable of this. He knows the entire situation and he would only say to me "I'm sorry you're having a hard time but I can't help you" if I asked him.
I'm in this situation because of him. Not that I don't take any blame; I made some terrible stupid choices regarding him. But it's all piling up.
I have always landed on my feet my whole life. I have been blessed with good luck in terms of making it through bad times, but those were little spring showers, and this is a tsunami.
advice on where to start ?
I can feel it rising up in my chest, anxiety like nothing I have gone through before in 42 years. Honestly it's like acute anxiety and it's severe. I can't get my breathe, dizzy, confused..... i'm dealing with the following problems now that he walked out on me - he left me quite a mess:
1. I'm driving his car (if he LETS me) until April. I have not asked "permission" yet but I really need it for about 8 weeks until I can get one. I don't know how helpful and charitable he will be on that because he is paying my car insurance as we have a joint policy and if I know Joe he will want to nix that fast. The car is not running right and I am scared to death everytime I drive it. It has a slow oil leak, and the engine revs up funny when I first start it. It's also running hotter than it should. I am a nervous wreck.
2. This is a two person household with him in it, and now on my own I have only half the money for the finances it takes to run this house on bare bones. I can't get a job because I have to be here at night for my daughter who's 8, and my 12 yr old son is being virtual schooled at home which means I have to prod him and help him. He was getting F's at regular school, all sorts of issues and problems. Now he is pulling A's. So going back to "school" is not an option as far as I can see. This means that I need to be here during the day for him, and here at night for her and him. So I am stuck here. I type VERY fast. I used to ebay but the market is so oversaturated now and ebay's fees are a joke. So I am really, really stuck. I'm scared to death and I can't sleep at night. He will be better off without me financially, but I was dependent on him and now I am sooo screwed.
Before he left he ever told me since the house is in our names jointly but he alone is on the mortgage, that if I didn't pay the mortgage he didn't care and would let the house go into foreclosure. I lived in this house for 10 years. He was here for 2. He promised me he would never take a penny out of the house if it didn't work out between us, but now I just don't know anymore. I do not trust him AT ALL. I feel I served a purpose for him.
He brought alcohol into this home and I would drink with him on the weekends, but now I am drinking more. I got scared because yesterday morning I woke up and had the shakes and a major hangover. My body does not like what I'm doing to it. I'm smoking too much, and sometimes I pop a xanax. I just do not know how to cope with the feelings of loneliness, the abandonment by him, all the natural feelings of "what is he doing now" "does he even care" (um, NO HE DOESNT).... the reality is setting in that he is not just gone for a week; he deserted our relationship totally to find greener pastures and take care of Number One.... leaving me in a terrible lurch to fend for myself here.
I just don't know what to address first.
The mortgage? (my father will re-fi it for me, thank God, but he is 89 years old and I don't know if that will pose a problem)
or should I address how much Joe "wants" from the house in terms of money? He's a misleading manipulator who promised me he wouldn't do this to me, but now again I do not know what he is capable of. It's all about him.
What about the bills? What do you do when you can't leave the house? I mean can't. I have to be a mom first, but how can I do that when I can't cover the necessities? I can't do welfare or food stamps because I make about $2200/month which is over the poverty level.... so I am really on my own here.
These panic attacks are getting worse. My breathing is shallow. I won't even spend a $10 co-pay to see a doctor right now and I'm literally scared about spending a penny on milk. I have about $500 to my name. not enough for one month's worth of bills.
how could he do this to me. i guess that is the question that keeps rolling around in my head. The overt abuse, the ignoring me.... I could have lived with it because at least I had a roof over my head. I never took him for being capable of this. He knows the entire situation and he would only say to me "I'm sorry you're having a hard time but I can't help you" if I asked him.
I'm in this situation because of him. Not that I don't take any blame; I made some terrible stupid choices regarding him. But it's all piling up.
I have always landed on my feet my whole life. I have been blessed with good luck in terms of making it through bad times, but those were little spring showers, and this is a tsunami.
advice on where to start ?
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I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
lie in a hot bath to relax muscles and do deep slow breathing, this is the best way for us to breathe
get some self help books on overcoming panic attacks and agoraphobia and follow the advice, try the local library
ask local charities about assistance and advice, sometimes you can see a doc at hospital for free, but always tell any doc that you are broke, dont be too proud as they often wont charge and will give you free sample packs of meds