I wanted to share with everyone something that happened to me this past week that may help others. On Monday, I suffered the worst panic/anxiety attack of my life and found that I could not deal with it. I was at my therapist's office going crazy with fear and grief and decided that I could no longer handle it on my own and wanted to go the emergency room. My wonderful therapist, left his practice and had me follow him in his car to the ER and got me checked in. He held my hand and hugged me through my tears. After two psychiatric specialists talked to me, they suggested I commit myself to the Behavioral Unit at the hospital. At that point, I was so tired of trying to deal with this myself, I agreed. It was the best thing I could have done. What I realized was that all the relaxation tricks, the breathing, the mental imagery wasn't working for me and I needed more. For the time being, I needed someone who was qualified to take care of me. The nurses and my assigned doctor in the Behavioral Unit were wonderful and they had many group sessions throughout the day, which helped teach me different coping skills and how to recognize my triggers. My fellow patients were just like me ... people who needed a break and help from people who knew what we were dealing with. All the other patients became close friends during my time there and we all leaned on each other because we had a shared pain. My assigned doctor got me on a better regimen of meds, which seem to be helping. I did miss my fiance terribly but I needed the structure the program offered ... before I felt as if I had been lost and alone at sea. I was a voluntary patient and stayed for a few days at my doc's recommendation to see how my new meds would take. I am home now and still shaken by the whole experience but definitely see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have also started an Intensive Outpatient Program for 3 weeks which I am really looking forward to. I guess my final thought and point to this story is that if you ever start to feel hopeless and don't know where to turn, don't be afraid to reach out to therapists and doctors, and if it gets too bad, never be ashamed to admit yourself to the ER. Those people are there to help you and it can only make you stronger. Thank you for listening. Sending positive thoughts to everyone out there who struggles with panic, anxiety or depression.
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