its now 4am and I just had two horrible panic attacks and im really anxious right now to the point where I feel another one coming on and I feel so upset I could pass out my heart is racing so fast and my pulse is going extreamly fast as well! im very anxious right now I woke up from having a bad dream I guess I went to bed feeling very stressed out as usual my whole day was just a mess my mom broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years and told him she wanted him to move out and that she wanted to break up and its just been a very stressful day! I liked him but then in other ways I couldnt stand him! he treated my mom amazing but then he was sooo lazy and didnt help her one bit with bills or food or anything and I was always fighting with him and then other times I loved him! but anyways I guess I went to be feeling way to stressed and couldnt get things off my mind and had a horrible panic attack and then I brought my breathing and what not to calm down and then a few minutes later I had another really bad panic attack that lasted an hour and a half and now im still extreamly anxious and upset! this not sleeping at night is really mentally catching up to me and im ready to hit rock bottom I really am I cant deal with much more! im seriously ready to have a break down! and all I want to do is sleep but I CANT! theres no way im sleeping any time soon im wayyy to anxious and upset my heart is beating so fast it feels like its going to beat right out of my chest! and as far as my pulse rate thats beating wayy to fast as well! I feel like im going to pass out because im so upset! this is just awful ive never felt this horrible in my entire life I dont think! I think im going to get up and try and walk or something to calm down im a mess right now! much love
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