My affair is so behind me, so over, so done, i get physically ill sometimes when i even have a nightmare about the OM (thats the only time i think of him). I am just having a hard time forgiving myself because of the situation i put my husband, myself, and our soon to be son in. Hubby wont talk to me at all at this point and we are even living in different states. I need to focus on finding a way to be me again because all I have been for so long is his devoted wife - then i was lonely and stupid and had an affair while he was away - and now all i want to do is go home and be his loving wife again. i hurt so many people i dont know how i am ever going to be happy again....and i have hurt my husband so deeply but i dont even think he cares or loves me at all anymore. i told him almost 4 months ago. I should say that he is doubting the paternity of the child i am going to have in feb but i KNOW it is his. HELP!
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