Good luck with that. Educating teachers has worked for very few, that I know of, because teachers usually think they know more than you do about your child, and what he or she needs. My opinions come from 18 years worth of interactions with teachers, and from listening to the experiences of other parents in ODD support groups. This kind of teacher behavior is prevalent. Bashing is a little harsh don't you think? Teachers are not a protected class of people. We have the right to be dissatisfied with their behavior, as they often seem to be dissatisfied with our kid's or ours . Always start out trying to educate and work with a teacher, of course. But I think that many of us have found, or will find as time goes by, that many are unresponsive, inflexible, and believe that they shouldn't have to deal with it. Well, they do. Our kids HAVE to go to school by law. ODD kids are not bums, unworthy of being included, and should never feel unwanted. This is one of the worst things you can do. I really don't care how the teacher feels. She's an adult who made a decision to become a teacher. You take the good with the bad, if you care. What did she expect, that all students would be perfect little angels all the time? That there would never come a time where there would be a really difficult child? What we should all be more concerned with, is how the child feels. What is it doing to his/her self image, and emotional stability? Here's a question for you. Why do so many shootings, by the young, take place in schools? Maybe it's because school is the place where most troubled kids( no matter what the trouble: ADHD, ADD, ODD, drug abuse,and more serious emotional and psychological disorders) feel the most abused, left out, stupid, bad, emotionally attacked and disenfranchised. Hey, they're not shooting their parents! This is serious, and we should be looking at and evaluating teacher behavior, and the ways in which the neediest students in the system are treated, as one of the factors in these kinds of issues.

I can't speak for fmom but I think it was the way the teacher did it. She was clearly playing games and seemed to have NO intentions of including fmom's son. Maybe she should make time to discuss these kinds of field trips well ahead of time, so parents have a chance to take time off work or arrange for extra help if they can't go. Maybe she should be a little more understanding and help to find working solutions, not be part of the problem.

Hello,abb223. I am not sure that shootings happen in school for the reason that you say. I am sure that the schools tolerate too much bad and violent behavior that if it were addresses instead of ignored may not get so far.

I agree that teaching is incredibly difficult. I wanted to go back to school to teach K-3, but after seeing some of the kids these people have to deal with and how little recourse they have I decided not to. I'm not agreeing with how the teacher in question handled the situation, or agreeing that there was bashing involved. Just that it's tremendously difficult to be a teacher.

I wish we could go back to the days when it was more important to raise a good person with character and morals than one that felt good about themselves.

Hello,
I agree with Savvy in that we can not get kids used to feeling good aobut themselves all of the time. It is appropriate to allow them feel bad when they do something wrong. Why should you feel good if you steal? Morals and consequneces have to be taught. From what I read Fmom did not try to work with the teacher or offer solutions. She got mad and begged for son to go which the teacher agreed to. Then the boy misbehaved again. Instead of focussing on the boy the parent again focussed on the teacher sending him home.Just how much is this teacher supposed to take. The ODD does not excuse the children from consequneces or expectations of appripriate behavior. I would liek to know what the mom did about his misbehaving at school.were there consequences.Field trips are a privelage not a guarentee.

I think this could go and on, and no one is going to agree. I say there are two sides and I feel as though there were faults on both sides, it is a touchy subject when you are dealing with these kids, and it is easy to say what you would do or not do, especailly when it is someone else's kid, we all handle things differently,

Ok heres ma view i would'nt like to be a teacher soe hard job they have ,teachers point she has more than one child to attent 2 and rules aply to all also health and saftly bla bla bla however a child with ODD finds rules hard to understand well mine does but he has the right to go no matter if he is a little sod at times,2 ways he could have gone this was plenty of warning there was gonna be a trip and had to work towards it or someone could have gone with him with one to one,my son nearly got this on a school trip but unfortunatly got kicked out of school as they didnt have the proper people to help him due to his outburts
I also believe teacher and pubils should learn about mental dissabilitys and understand them more classic example the first school my son was at my duaghters teacher who he had asked how he was i said oh still the same and by the way he has ODD ,oh whats that she replied so i explained and also said told you he wernt a bad kid soon shut her up
I still feel disapointed with teachers but that is due to how they treated my son but there are good ones out there ive to find one yet

I AM a teacher and a parent of an ODD child.

There are two sides to the issue.

1. Parents MUST advocate for their child. You are the person who know's your child the best. When his teacher went to school, there was no such diagnosis as ODD and if there was, it was talked about for a small part of 1 semester. This is not their fault. You must open the lines of communication BEFORE the first outburst--which may mean before the first day of school. There is a fine line between being overbearing and supporting the teacher. YOU must try to get as much help for your child as possible. Most good teachers will help you also, but you are the catalyst. If I as a teacher say "this child needs to be tested for special support", I may be ignored. If the parent makes noise, things usually get done faster.

2. We, as parents, must realize that a teacher is responsible for anywhere from 18 to 30 students at one time. We are being pulled in every direction and being told to meet every child's needs ASAP.
Thank's to Bush, somehow, we're supposed to get EVERY child reading at grade level, no matter what their previous experience is. That means, students with EVERY kind of issue is included in that.

I know that people on this site are very proactive parents, but we deal with families whose parents not only don't care about what happens in school, but supports their child in behaving badly and encourages them to do things like fight and ignore authority. I've had a 2nd grader tell me, "I don't have to listen to you, you're a woman." I've had a first grader tell me that "My dad told me I could punch someone if I want to."
Where do you go there?

My point to that, is YOU have to show your child's teacher that you want to work with them. Create a behavior plan that will work in school and at home. Reinforce school rules at home.

I know it sucks that so much is on the parent. But, as I said you know your child better than anyone.

I am so sorry to hear that so many people have had troubles with their teachers. I suppose I'm lucky, because I work in a school where I totally trust the teachers I work with to deal with a child with ODD correctly. This year alone, we have 4 kindergarten students who have been diagnosed with ED or BD. I feel that these students have already made great strides and hopefully, we can bring them the rest of the way.

I have no other advice for those with devisive teachers except to be as open with them as possible.
REMEMBER: You've had ___ years to figure out how to deal with your child's issues, this teacher is just meeting him/her in August and won't work with them again after June. YOU have to get them to get to know your special and amazing child.

All the facts leading up to the situation are not known. A teacher knows the child has a disorder that could lead to problems on a field trip she should have discussed it with the mother beforehand. They have no problems calling at other times.