yes i have it is hard for me becasue i llove my son so much both my children have came into my life when i was depressed and heartless they have taught me how to love. it is hard enough being a parent but it is even harder having a challenging child .

Yes all the time. Even from my so called friends.They just dont understand and dont really want to.

I would have to say yes to this. I read this post a few days ago, and it was very hard to admit this.

Yes, I think someone told me once that even though we love our children with all our hearts that there are times we don't like them very much! I think this site helps us vent when we are having those times.

oh my, yes.

My son and I had a horrible episode two summers ago.

He was supposed to be outside waiting for me to go somewhere, now I can't even remember where. He wasn't there when I left. I came home and brought chinese dinner home for me only. I told him if he had been where he was supposed to be and had gone with me, etc. etc. He proceeded to knock my food right off the table with a swipe of his arm.

That was the first and only time I truly truly lost it. It had built up over time, but boy he knew I was angry that day. I threw him out of the house and locked him out for awhile.

Those haven't happened in a very long time, but yes, and yes, I still feel guilty for it.

I know how you feel. I just want her to disapear. then when she is all calmed down and being nice. I feel really bad and truly believe she can read my mind and that is why she acts the way she does, I love her and would die for her and fight for her,. but at the same time when she is being mean I would gladly hand her off,. the one thing that the therapist as told me, I cannot take anything she says personally, she is in a safe place and that is one reason why she blows up more at me, because she knows even after she is done, I will still be there for her and love her, which is true. I am,. I pray a lot to God for forgiveness too, he has been my Rock, because if God can continue to love us and want us after all our blow ups, then I can be like him and want my daughter,.even when she is mad and screaming at me, just take it ine day at time ask God to help you and know when you are feeling like that, God understands,.

I know what you mean. Forgiving myself is harder than forgiving my son. I am so glad God can and does take it away.

We moms need to learn forgiveness and acceptance of ourselves in these horrible kinds of moments. We do love our children, with all of our hearts, but we do have feelings. Thanks for the post. Thanks for helping me share, and learn from everyone else who had the courage to share.

I really agree...i am very hard on myself and i beat myself up all of the time for things that i really have no control over..but it's just me trying to be better and not get knocked down..I don't let up on myself, and when any of my kids fail at something i blame myself always for not teaching them more, or not having the patience with them!

I dont stop feeling compassion but I avoid him and makes me feel guilty like I am ignoring him or neglecting him. It is horrible the feeling of numbness for the baby you always will love!!

I also have been there. My son left the other night without asking and without telling me where he was going and who he was with. He was supposed to be doing homework. We had a big fight and when he left I was glad. For about the first 1/2 hour I felt like I didn't care where he was or even if he didn't come back.. Then panic set in and I started freaking because I didn't know where he went or who he was with! What a switch in emotions.. He came home a couple of hours later and I was soooo relieved.