I know I have a tendency to be a bit of a perfectionist and in some ways I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. I work hard at my job to try and do my best and I receive a great deal of personal satisfaction for a job well done. But lately, I've been so hard on myself it has me wondering if perhaps that perfectionist tendency is detrimental to my well being. But I'm sitting by the computer tonight, at 2:25 in the morning, unable to sleep, my mind travelling in many directions at once and I just had an epiphany. An area of my life that I tend to reprimand myself on is my seeming lack of discipline to keep a neat and tidy house. I have my kids every other week and when they aren't with me, my house is kept quite tidy. I actually look forward to making it spic and span when my boys head off to their dad's for the week. But when I have my boys, I have always been ashamed to admit my place goes to the dogs. But tonight it hit me - I'm not being lazy, I'm not being a slob, I'm being real - real tired! When I stop and contemplate how much energy my ODD son uses up in the course of the week when he is with me, I shouldn't be at all surprised by how little gets done around my home. So I'm sitting here wondering of the other parents that frequent this forum: Are we kind to ourselves? It's been said before that we have a job that is 3x more difficult than the typical parent. I, personally, don't give myself enough credit for that. For years I have had unsupportive family members tell me that I wasn't a good enough parent. Until my son was diagnosed at the age of 8, I tended to believe these people. Now, 5 years later, I still feel like I have to battle against people who tend to view me as not capable enough. But I'm finally having faith in myself that these individuals just do not understand. They haven't walked in my shoes - not even for 5 minutes, let alone the 24/7 uncertain environment that I call home with my ODD son. So I come here tonight to ask people this.....how are people kind to themselves? What do my fellow parents in the trenches do to reward themselves for the effort they put in continuously.
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