I don't know if it's ocd or normal, but waiting for things drives me nuts! If I have to wait for someone to call me on the phone I can hardly make myself do anything other than wait by the phone, feeling pressured and anxious, hoping it will ring soon and end my misery. I hate waiting on "hold." I end up having to call a lot of gov't agencies and stores and businesses for some stupid reason, just some simple question I want answered usually, and going through the whole long menu of options and phone buttons you have to push, numbers-numbers-numbers, everything these days is so dependent on stupid numbers--and getting really, really impatient and angry having to jump through all their little hoops just to get to speak to a real live human who can answer my stupid question.

It's infuriating!

And having to wait for the bus. That really is misery. I don't have a car (can't afford one) and have to wait some indeterminate length of time for the bus to arrive at my stop, several times a week, and the ordeal really drains me so that by the time I finally get home I'm flat exhausted. What gets so awful is being utterly dependent on the bus driver and not knowing how long it will take, whether the bus is late or broke down, how long I'll have to sit on that uncomfortable bench with cars rushing past me--envying them all for having their own wheels--and it gets so exasperating I start counting cars going past, betting with myself how many white cars or red cars or whatever will pass before the bus is in sight, whether it'll be an even number or odd--there are endless variations on the counting game--it's just to keep me from getting completely "mental" having to wait, wait, wait.

I know I should be much more patient by now, having had to wait for hundreds of buses every year, hundreds of phone calls--but it never gets any easier. Am I just complaining too much? I know I should be grateful to have a phone and to have transportation at all, but it's still immensely frustrating.

Like I say, I don't know if this relates to ocd but it's a source of too much stress in my life, so that probably makes me more neurotic.