I guess stress makes OCD worse. Like I said in another post I had a bad weekend with all of the kids here. But I am going through alot with my brother. He is an alcoholic and I have been trying to help him but I realized that I can not help him he needs to help himself so I told him that and he is calling non stop I do not answer but he leaves messages. I do not listen to them and I erase them. But I have noticed in the last couple of months that my OCD is worse. I freak out when my husbands daughter is her. She does not respect anyone or anything and she is only four. But while she is here and after she is gone I feel like my house is dirty. I went and got her her own towels and wash rags, plates, bols, cups and silverware. My husband thought it was cute and there is no way I could tell him the real reason I got them. The whole time they are here even my kids all I am thinking is I can not wait for them to leave so I can get my house clean. It took me forever to get my apartment just the way I wanted it I needed it to feel like home and that I was safe here. I feel like my husband and his daughter have came in and took my safety away from me. I know it is not my husbands fault. I need to deel with it. But now I do not feel safe in my home. If I can even call it that anymore. I do not sleep I am affraid something is going to happen to me. I just want to get rid of everything I have and start all over again so maybe I can feel like I have a home again. I am ranting I know but I had to tell someone. Heck even my parrot stresses out when the house is full that is the only time she pulles feathers out. Poor bird I know how she feels. Thanks for listening.
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