All I can say is that up and down emotions are really very normal for any pregnancy. We don't always feel like we are carrying the wonders of the universe in our wombs and sometimes I think we're made to feel guilty if we don't have all the right sentaments. I didn't like being pregnant. Some women do. Some don't. But I really wanted kids and so I just got through it. Seems to me, you'll decide when the time is right that either do or don't want children and that decision will be right for you. You didn't wish your pregnancy away. But I'll bet that's what's in your head. So ocd.

thats exactly whats in my head!

I'm, sorry about your miscarriage and you did everything right. Ocd is like having a bully inside your head that never stops or leaves you alone....it makes you feel guilty all the time.....your useless...etc..etc

I have no idea. I am terrified of pregnancy.

I just want to say Wanderer that that was a good way to describe OCD. Kinda one of those "yea, ya know, that's exactly right" moments.

I'm going through something very similar! I miscarried w/ my 1st pregnancy yesterday at 9 weeks. When I found out I was pregnant (it was planned, on the first try!) I started having severe anxiety and was obsessing about every possible physical symptom, especially morning sickness. My sister suffered severe morning sickness and PPD and I assumed the same would happen to me.
I was put on Zoloft several weeks ago, and just when I started to feel better, the miscarriage happened. I don't know what to feel. I'm sad, confused, and yes, even relieved in an odd way. But now I'm afraid that my next pregnancy, I'll have the same problems!

yeah im worried about it happening again ,feeling the same way, so much that i dont know if i want to try 4 kids ever again. Im sorry that the same thing happened to you and you had a miscarrage, my boyfriend doesnt understand how i can be relived that i lost it but at the same time greve its loss.

I have two children. With my first pregnancy, I was a mess! Everyone and everything made me so angry. I was very emotional the entire time and I couldnt even stand to be around myself. I would seriously go and take a nap just so I would not be anxious and completely annoyed. I also had EXTREME morning sickness for five months and would vomit 5-10 times a DAY. I could not even keep a glass of water down. I lost 13 lbs and had keytones in my urine! But....I made it and I cannot image my life without my son. Now with my 2nd pregnancy, in the very beginning...I was unbelievably anxious and panicky, I felt like I wasnt going to be able to make it through---like I was going to absolutely lose my mind. I was so scared. I had to reassure myself everyday over and over that everything was going to be okay...and keep myself really busy. Thankfully that awful panic feeling and anxiety left me after my first trimester. Once I got into my 2nd trimester-I did a complete 360. I ended up being so calm and collected. I was the one in my family solving problems and calming everyone else down when a problem arose. Infact, I suffer from anxiety everyday and during the 2nd and 3rd trimesters of my second preg. I was more relaxed than I am now or have ever been. Soooo....I know thats a long shpeel but I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I really think you will be able to have children. Even if you have to stay busy every minute of the day and reassure yourself all the time. Its so worth it. Good luck :)