Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.

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Obsessive thoughts after hearing news story?

Hello. Thank you in advance for any support you can give me. I have been battling OCD since I was a child. I went on medication (zoloft) 8.5 years ago. For the most part the medication really has helped me with my OCD; however every once in awhile something "triggers" a flair up of my OCD and causes obsessive/intrusive thoughts and a general "yucky" feeling. Earlier in the week my husband told me a story he heard in the news about a man who threw his 3 year old son and himself off of a high rise building in NYC. I think it was a combination of things - the way he told it (saying things like the guy looked so normal....it could have been me, etc), it being the holidays, and my general exhaustion from dealing with life and having little kids and the holidays, etc. but after I heard the story I had a hard time letting it go. I started thinking that I want to do the same thing to my kids and myself. I keep telling myself that this is my OCD and I am having obsessions/intrusitive thoughts but I keep thinking that no that isn't the case. I find I am obsessed with wondering why this man would do this and that if someone did it he obviously thought about it and did it so OCD or not (I know the situation is different and I doubt he even had OCD although I don't know) why wouldn't I (or anyone else for that matter)? I know its horrible and I love my kids and wouild never want to hurt them but I feeel that "yucky" feeling and feel that I do want to do the same thing. I keep reminding myself that I didn't even think/feel this way before I heard this story but then I think well since I'm thinking it it means I want to do it. Please tell me I'm not alone with this and that it is common for OCD. I know I'm seeking reassurance but I guess that's what I need right now :-/

Replies

Erica71
Erica71

Hi! I've been where you're at. I'll try to not make this to long. First off, I've had this mess pretty much my whole life. My kids are now 17 and 19. When they were little...I had fears of doing the horrible things I'd heard of other mothers doing. It is a really disturbing feeling to have those kinds of thoughts about your kids. It wasn't just with my kids though..I'd had these types of thoughts before...I remember being younger and still living at home and I'd see a scary movie where there was a killer and I'd wonder what was the difference between them and me and what if I do that to my family. When I first got married...and there were no kids yet...my husband would keep a gun beside our bed and I'd have thoughts of what if I shoot him. I went to a slumber party one time and the girls dad had a gun hanging up on the wall...when I saw that gun....my mind stayed fixated on it with thoughts of what if...what if...what if. I didn't sleep much that night. My current theme is guilt but I just wanted you to know that I completely know where you are coming from. I have had this many times...so many times. I think OCD attacks what we care about the most.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Mich you're not alone. See my post on the board I have posted it is so similar.

I read a post on another OCD board about a girl who feared jumping off a bridge or out of a window. I then became obsessed and now I fear being alone. It is truly terrifying and I fear I must be suicidal. My thoughts since have escalated to all kinds of ways I might harm myself but no desire to do so. It really is terrifying me.

I just wanted to say you're not alone xxx
horusanubis0217
horusanubis0217

I do the same exact things as all three of you. The thing I've noticed when these thoughts come is STRESS. Stress without a doubt causes these thoughts. What I don't understand is WHY on earth would we think even more distressing thoughts when we are already so stressed? I don't know but what I do know is when I start struggling I strip down to the basics, food, water, exercise and sleep. Once the stress levels come down after fixing those things I start adding a little more and a little more until I'm okay and I can handle it. If it's too much I take it back a bit until I'm not overwhelmed again. And trust me overwhelmed can mean to fold the laundry, seriously. Sleep well and try to relax. :)