Obsessive thoughts after hearing news story?
Hello. Thank you in advance for any support you can give me. I have been battling OCD since I was a child. I went on medication (zoloft) 8.5 years ago. For the most part the medication really has helped me with my OCD; however every once in awhile something "triggers" a flair up of my OCD and causes obsessive/intrusive thoughts and a general "yucky" feeling. Earlier in the week my husband told me a story he heard in the news about a man who threw his 3 year old son and himself off of a high rise building in NYC. I think it was a combination of things - the way he told it (saying things like the guy looked so normal....it could have been me, etc), it being the holidays, and my general exhaustion from dealing with life and having little kids and the holidays, etc. but after I heard the story I had a hard time letting it go. I started thinking that I want to do the same thing to my kids and myself. I keep telling myself that this is my OCD and I am having obsessions/intrusitive thoughts but I keep thinking that no that isn't the case. I find I am obsessed with wondering why this man would do this and that if someone did it he obviously thought about it and did it so OCD or not (I know the situation is different and I doubt he even had OCD although I don't know) why wouldn't I (or anyone else for that matter)? I know its horrible and I love my kids and wouild never want to hurt them but I feeel that "yucky" feeling and feel that I do want to do the same thing. I keep reminding myself that I didn't even think/feel this way before I heard this story but then I think well since I'm thinking it it means I want to do it. Please tell me I'm not alone with this and that it is common for OCD. I know I'm seeking reassurance but I guess that's what I need right now :-/
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