I believe that I struggle with OCD on some level. I was anorexic for 15 years and if you know anyone with this disorder it is all based in obsessive thinking and actions. I have been recovered for a little more than 2 years.
The following is what I think is the replacement for anorexia that may have surfaced as possible OCD.
I have what I call obnoxious thoughts. My thoughts are so loud and so abrupt and so repetitive they come out of my mouth because they cannot be contained. If I am struggling with something I have learned to write about it because I will rehearse the scenario on repeat for days until it works out or makes sense to me. Then I have to go over that several times too. The worst and loudest thoughts are if I make a mistake at work. Instant racing obnoxious thoughts and high amounts of anxiety.
I never thought of this as OCD and I was not diagnosed with OCD. It does not manifest in all aspects of my life. I have noticed recently that I have to check the stove to be sure it is off before I leave at least three times or stand in the kitchen and repeat to myself three times "The stove is off." Or I will have to go back in and check it again before I leave. I do the same thing with the coffee maker and the alarm clock and I am probably missing something.
If you've read this far thank you so much for doing so. It means a lot to me.
I haven't seen my parents for 7 years now. If I had I probably wouldn't be alive any more. I had kidney disease when I last saw them and my 80 year old dad still punched me in the face just like when I was a boy. Still, as I watch TV coverage of where they live in the path of Tropical Storm Florence on the North Carolina coast, I'm having trouble being at peace with the decision I made with...
i wrote about this in my journal,but think i need to write more here because i am realizing how very triggered i am-Yesterday,i was feeling very lonely,at home with a 12 hour pass from the hospital (as i am today) was and is great-and important,because i am making the transition to be discharged on wednesday....was feeling a little unsteady though,and isolated,even though my boyfriend called me...