Hi I am a 23 year old from St. Louis. Today I learned I had OCD, ritualistic (always looking in the mirror to see if I look fatter, checking my pulse constantly) and very obsessive thoughts. It makes sense when I was a kid I would always worry. My mom said I was worrying when I was two. I would worry about aliens abducting me or ghosts or dying. When I was 10 I started thinking horrible thoughts about Jesus and Mary. Then as I got older I would obsess over a girl for months all I would think about. Then I got better from about 16-21 I was better. Happy and loving life. Recently since June it has gotten terrible. Now I can't control it, I always worry about having a heart attack, getting cancer, killing my parents or my dog or myself, that I am going crazy, fear of going to hell even though I am agnostic now, that something is wrong with me. Just writing this down sounds insane to me, but I can't help it. I miss my old life. I can't focus on a conversation and dating has been impossible. At the end of the day my shoulders are so tired from being tense all day. I need help and am glad I found this group, anything to get me through this. My doc prescribed Zoloft 50 mg and I also take wellbutrin which helped with depression but not anxiety. I have spent all night reading horror stories about Zoloft and now am afraid to take it. Any thoughts on this, anyways I hope to make friends with all you people. It just felt good writing all of this out.
Posts You May Be Interested In