Unfortunately, my kids have been the only ones who have seen me at my worst. I've got a 3 yr old who screws up from time to time as all of them do.....but when he put a deep, dime-sized hole in the wall yesterday I just got beside myself. When he wrecks things that I don't feel I can fix and when the noise level gets too high, I just can't take it anymore. My OCD makes me feel like my whole life is out of control. I cry and pace and can't stop myself. My mind will go over and over it and I can't make it stop. I feel better today, I try to do repetitive things to calm myself when I lose it like that. He is a totally normal child and I have two boys so the noise level is always a little loud. I grew up in a family of all girls to sometimes I feel like I can't cope. I am writing this post mostly to vent and admit that I am having trouble. I also spend alot of time playing with my boys and love them very much.......I am just sometimes not equipped. Thanks for listening.
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