I can't seem to shake this funk. I usually kind of cycle in and out of it. Is it that I'm 45 and my stupid hormones are wearing out? Not functioning properly? Is it that my kids are having OCD symptoms now and I feel like I'm having to relive everything I thought was behind me? I can't think about anything but my past addictions and my past dysfunctions and when I do think, it's like I'm in this thick haze that stretches out endlessly. I forget everything. I can't remember to meet clients, to show up at church functions. I'm sick to death of saying "I'm sorry." I want to chuck everything and get away from here. But if I did, I'm not sure I'd come back. Hell, maybe I'm already gone and maybe I've already made the decision to stay gone. For all I know.
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