Hi all, so I have been having very nearly a mental breakdown and am now on antidepressents which have not started working yet. My fears have ballooned out of control to the point where I almost don't feel a connection with my self anymore and have thoughts of suicide. It is really scary, I have the fear of becoming a psychopath and hurting people and not caring. I worry that I "want" to hurt people and "want" to do bad things even though I know I don't. It is horrific and leads me to have panic attacs and such. I have random thoughts pop into my head like "Why does it matter if I am good" and stuff like that. I am normally a very moral and kind person, I have never even hit someone and do not like it when people suffer, but part of me is scared that I am turning into a cold person who doesn't care about others. The depression is not helping since I am finding it hard to connect with others right now. Another fear is when I am starting to feel better and normal, the thought pops into my head "maybe you don't want to get better." This is also crazy, because I so badly want to heal and return to my normal life. I feel like I am the only one who has such crazy thoughts and it makes me question whether or not I have ocd. Please help!
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