I am so tired of living day in and day out with these obsessions in my head! I have thought over the past few months that if I have to do this in my head and if I have to think all of these thoughts in my head, I would rather sleep through it. Do you ever have times when you just feel that you want to go to sleep and never wake up? My mind grasps on to the most stupid things and runs with it. It's almost as if sometimes, I am living another life inside my head. I am so tired of living this way and I would rather not if I have to be like this the rest of my life! I am on no medication and I have said many times that I cannot do this on my own. Others around me say that medicine is not the answer and I understand that. However, it does help! It hurts me so bad to know that I have to live my life knowing some of the horrible, intrusive, disgusting thoughts that have gone through my head. I feel as if sometimes I have cheated on my boyfriend. Physically, I haven't done anything but these thoughts make me feel so guilty. Does anyone else get so overwhelmed with guilt that they feel they have to "tell on themselves" for all of their thoughts? Just wondering....
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