I can't take this anymore. i've had ocd for so long. it started when i was 10 years old. i'm 17 now. i've been to therapy. been on medication. everything. i stopped the medication and therapy because i was just sick of it. i finally got rid of it on my own for a while. i just had to make myself stop and it worked. but it keeps coming back! how is it coming back? if i stopped it before for so long and felt just fine why do i have to do rituals and everything now? it seems like it wouldn't come back. its taking over my life. i have to light my cigarettes 5-10 times. i avoid numbers like 3,6,7. when i turn the computer monitor off i have to do it a number of times until it feels just right. i have to open and close things a number of times. wash my hands over and over not because i don't feel like they're clean but because i just feel like something bad will happen if i don't. like if i don't do rituals i feel like my relationship with my boyfriend will go bad. something bad will happen to my mom or someone in my family or myself. when i pray i have to repeat myself. i can't turn the tv off until whoever is on tv says something that is good. i've started to just get people in my house to do things for me. they understand because i've had it so long and my sister has it a little. but i still feel bad for getting them to do things for me so i can avoid it. i could literally go on all night about the things i do. it seems like i could just completely stop if i wanted to. i'm trying to just tell myself no and not do it. its working some but not as much as i would like it to. whatttt can i do?! i think i'm gunna go crazy.
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