This site has been a great benefit to me ... but usually my OCD thoughts are about things related to emotional loyalty, or occasionally about sexual things ... But today my fiance said something to me in a tone that made me angry because I felt hurt/offended by it (I am very sensitive) ... and I had a thought to smother him with a pillow. Of course I would NEVER do this. I almost let it go, but it got stuck in my head ... For a minute I thought I might just throw the pillow at his face ... harmless, but for some reason I thought that might ease my mind. I didn't though. I was going to just walk away ... but seeing as this is a new type of thought for me, I asked him about it without actually telling him the thought. I asked him if he ever had thought about hurting people and he said no. I got upset but then he said it's okay, that I wasn't going to do it. I still HATE that I thought such a terrible thing ... :-( It makes me feel soooo sad. I know I wouldn't do it ... so I wasn't afraid that I would. I still feel so sad about thinking it though :-(
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