This may seem redundant to my previous sickness discussion topic but i've had a really hard weekend. i've become obsessed wit hthe fact that i may have become infected with HIV. you do not know how hard it was to even type that and see it in writing. while i know my fear is irrational i have somehow convinced myself that i'm going to die. i can't seem to do anything without picturing myself become really sick. why is my mind doing this to me!?! it has crossed from being a nuisance to being extremely disruptive in my life. i can't even watch my favorite tv show without thinking that i may not ever get to go through the experiences that my favorite characters go through in their fictional lives. i have gone as far as contacting a local clinic about getting tested because it may be the only thing that stops me from worrying and obsessing. but i fear that if i give in and get tested than it will just become another compulsion. what can i do to make this stop? i just want to live my life instead of worrying what might end it...
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...