First of all I want to thank everybody for their advice on how to handle my "scary" thoughts. I really APPRECIATE it. I think perhaps that I am making a bigger deal about this than it actually is. Therefore, increasing the obsessions and the need to confess. And you know the deal, it repeats OVER and OVER until you have panic attacks, etc., and etc. I have just about every aspect of OCD including what they would call pure obsessions. All of the other obsessions DO NOT bother me because they DO NOT go against my moral beliefs. When I get pure O's I just fight them SO HARD because it is so NOT me and you know the rest of the story they come back even stronger and stronger and then I feel GUILTY and TERRIBLE inside because I thought that and everything repeats again. I have learned in the past the less importance I give these thoughts and the more I confront them the easier it is to deal with them. Ironically when I accept these thoughts or even encourage them the thoughts pretty much disappear and it is not an issue. It is just SO hard to accept these thoughts when it deals with people that I am close to. Anyhow, my question to you is this. I dated a girl a few times years ago that I worked with and told her I had OCD. And at that time I was having pure o's and I tried to explain it to her and she got scared and told people and my boss about it and to make matters worse someone put a "cake knife" in her mailbox at work and she tried to convince everybody that it was me and so the place of employment made things rough for me. They asked me to be examined by a doctor to see how serious my OCD was and if I was "safe" to be around. I was examined by an OCD specialist that said that none of this stuff should never have taken place against me and all of my symptoms were "classic symptoms of OCD". I eventually quit my job but with help of hiring an attorney because of all the confusion and harassment that took place. I have been employed since with NO problems and my OCD has improved a great deal until recently. I started to get close with this lady and all of this stuff of my past started to come up again. I want to be honest and upfront but I know from the past that it has huge consequences. So finally my question to you is, how do I explain this relationship and what happened at work? I come from a large family and they all know bits and pieces and someone will say something eventually and this is one hurdle that I just DO NOT know how climb and get over. It costed me SO MUCH! And the sad thing is that I did NOTHING wrong. I am an extremely compassionate guy that just wants the simple pleasures of life. THANK YOU ALL for your help. You ALL are in my prayers!
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