Up front I have to say that I hadn't planned on joining this group.

I am largely over my bout with OCD through the help of CBT, except for flashes when I am over the edge with stress, fatigue or my primary illness CFS.

I joined because I realized that just maybe some of my thoughts might help. I have always felt blessed that I am where I am now on the scale of OCD.

I "got" OCD as a result of a drug, Lupron. I was scheduled for a myomectomy and at the time my doctor insisted on it despite my concerns - I have CFS, which is another story. Within 3 days, I knew my head wasn't right. However, I live in a small town and no matter how many people I saw they patted me on the head and just told me I was nervous.

I had the surgery, with complications, but when I began recovery from that, the OCD symptoms just got worse and worse. I am a contaminant OCD.

My world got smaller and smaller and I got worse and worse. I remember one doctor that I visited when I began to suspect the drug reaction told me something to the effect "oh yea, you are screwed, that drug just gets loose and blows your neurotransmitters". He offered not hope, no identification of what was wrong with me. I was a mess.

I finally called in a marker with one of my father's friends at Duke. My late husband and I drove down in an ice storm and the doctor I saw asked me a few questions and told me that I had OCD and that I was to come back next week prepared to spend six weeks in an apartment by myself and undergo treatment every day in CBT.

It worked and it is a very long saga. If anyone wants to know more I will talk about it, but I have rambled enough.

I guess I just wanted to say enough to let people know there is hope. I know that the drug did permanent brain damage - in fact there was a class action suit brought against the manufacturer later. This all happened in the '99 - 01 time frame for me.

But just as there is hope, this was some of the hardest personal work I have ever done.