Obesity Support Group
This community is dedicated to those of us struggling with obesity. Obesity is thought to be a significant risk factor in certain health conditions, leading to increased mortality. Find the support you need by sharing your story, asking questions, and learning from others on how they have coped.
I've got my weekly session with the therapist at the eating disorders unit tomorrow, so I'm just doing my "homework"
It's basically reviewing the things we talked about in my session last week, as we started working on a plan - "Threat/Safety Strategy Forulation for Shame and Self-criticism"
Anyhow we made a start on it by going over some things from my childhood and how they made me feel, and how I adapted my behaviour to cope with them....I've been over some of these things so many times, that I don't find them that painful to talk about, but today, whilst reviewing what we've done so far, and incident came into my head...
...it's not a childhood incident, and not a major thing in itself...it was, about 5 or 6 years ago, my parents were packing up ready to move house, and they called me to say that they still had my wedding dress packed in their loft, and did I want to go around and collect it.
So I went, and during the conversation about the dress, my mum said "you didn't make much effort to lose weight for your wedding did you? You looked a right mess in that dress, I felt ashamed, but I couldn't say anything to you at the time".
I held it together whilst I was there, but as soon as I got into my car, I was absolutely heartbroken. I'd been married about 3 or 4 years at that point, and she absolutely tore me apart by saying that.
I had, had a personal trainer and got down to about 170lbs, but then I moved house and stopped exercising, and went up to 260lbs, and then we decided we were going to get married and I managed to get down to about 210lbs for my wedding day.
I thought I looked nice, it was my wedding day, I was supposed to look a million dollars, I did feel like I looked a million dollars...
...I thought my parents were proud of me on my wedding day....
...but I was wrong - my mum was ashamed, and I looked a mess!
Recalling that today...I'm heartbroken all over again, the tears are rolling down my cheeks...why, did dhe have to do that to me?
I used to look at my wedding photos and feel proud, thinking they were beautiful, and now I look at them and pick fault at them, looking for why she thinks I looked a mess....was I really a mess?
Even if my mum thought I looked a mess, why couldn't she keep it to herself, why did she need to be nasty to me like that?
I feel angry, that even as an adult, she still gets to me, and still hurts me.
oh well...I guess getting it out on here, can't do me any harm can it?
Sharon xx
It's basically reviewing the things we talked about in my session last week, as we started working on a plan - "Threat/Safety Strategy Forulation for Shame and Self-criticism"
Anyhow we made a start on it by going over some things from my childhood and how they made me feel, and how I adapted my behaviour to cope with them....I've been over some of these things so many times, that I don't find them that painful to talk about, but today, whilst reviewing what we've done so far, and incident came into my head...
...it's not a childhood incident, and not a major thing in itself...it was, about 5 or 6 years ago, my parents were packing up ready to move house, and they called me to say that they still had my wedding dress packed in their loft, and did I want to go around and collect it.
So I went, and during the conversation about the dress, my mum said "you didn't make much effort to lose weight for your wedding did you? You looked a right mess in that dress, I felt ashamed, but I couldn't say anything to you at the time".
I held it together whilst I was there, but as soon as I got into my car, I was absolutely heartbroken. I'd been married about 3 or 4 years at that point, and she absolutely tore me apart by saying that.
I had, had a personal trainer and got down to about 170lbs, but then I moved house and stopped exercising, and went up to 260lbs, and then we decided we were going to get married and I managed to get down to about 210lbs for my wedding day.
I thought I looked nice, it was my wedding day, I was supposed to look a million dollars, I did feel like I looked a million dollars...
...I thought my parents were proud of me on my wedding day....
...but I was wrong - my mum was ashamed, and I looked a mess!
Recalling that today...I'm heartbroken all over again, the tears are rolling down my cheeks...why, did dhe have to do that to me?
I used to look at my wedding photos and feel proud, thinking they were beautiful, and now I look at them and pick fault at them, looking for why she thinks I looked a mess....was I really a mess?
Even if my mum thought I looked a mess, why couldn't she keep it to herself, why did she need to be nasty to me like that?
I feel angry, that even as an adult, she still gets to me, and still hurts me.
oh well...I guess getting it out on here, can't do me any harm can it?
Sharon xx
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I hope someday you can look at those wedding photos and remember the joy of the day. I knew all along that many at my wedding thought I was fat and my husband was making a terrible mistake in marrying a fat chick. It does hurt, but I got the best of the situation, I got the man I love and cherish the lost in life as my husband.
My father can make me feel like a 5 year old and I am 47. Makes me mad, but I have stopped caring so much what he thinks and don't have a whole lot of respect for his opinion....I love him a lot, but dont always like him..
So, to heck with your mother, dry your tears and remember how beautiful your husband thought you were on that day.
Hugs