I do that and i feel the same way. I dont know. Part of it is that people who are so use to needing me arent as good when they are the ones needed. Part of it is that im embarrassed. I dont know why. I end up feeling stupid. When i do reach out to someone - even if they were great - i end up avoiding them later because i feel funny about it.
Even when i write posts on line anonymously (like this) - i feel funny and stupid. I dont want to - i just do.

I cant help - but just thought id let you know i feel the same way.

The expectations we set for ourselves is much greater than the ones that we set for other people. We know that it is okay for other people to need help and ask for it, and yet we often can not let ourselves ask for help.

I recently posted on my blog something about this. (I would link to it but I am not very good at that yet)Sometimes we have to remember that asking someone for help give them the opportunity to feel helpful

I keep the deepest hurt inside and nobody knows about it but me. It's too much for me to open up and talk about it with anybody. I was always the one who kept to herself in my family, and my mother is always trying to get me to "open up" but I just can't. I do rely on DS and the journal I have here to vent.

I know how you feel. I keep everything bottled up too. Problem with that is that it will come out in other ways - say overeating anyone. I am striken with worry for my two boys on the autistic spectrum and I am always the funny one cracking jokes. I think if I didn't crack the jokes I would probrably end up in some institution. I guess that is how I deal with my issues. If you ever need to chat I am here for you. Hugs Denise

Interesting because I have gotten much, MUCH better with my eating and working out more. I have even lost a little weight but I am finding myself more of a bi**h than ever! And taking my anger that I took out on myself onto others.. I may not be gaining weight and hurting my health by doing that.. but maybe I am hurting myself by making myself less popular than I ever was, which was like never LOL.. oh well. I am nice to others who don't deserve to be ripped apart.. I have no reason to be a bitch to someone who has been a friend for real or who is neutral, but if someone pisses me off, LOOK OUT! I have been writing my feelings out a lot more and I think some think I am psycho as a result.. but what can I do? I have had a bad past, I don't let things go easily so its going to come out in some kind of ugly way.. if its not through food or any kind of addiction, it will be through something else not pretty..

I tend to do that, too. My dad was an alcoholic and in some of the family counseling we had, I learned that the children in such households don't express their emotional needs, because everything is centered around the alcoholic. I'm uncomfortable expressing my emotional needs and sometimes it builds up and then comes out as anger, especially with my husband and son. I'm trying to recognize when something is building up and dealing with it then rather than waiting.

I think some of us were so keened into others needs from just about the very beginning that we got lost along the way. It's like we were trained to be helpers. It's kind of sad really that we can't state our needs or ask others for help. I'm doing better with asking for certain things but then I tend to suffer emotionally alone but I'm working on it here lately and I'm getting a little better. I guess it takes baby steps. Thanks for sharing your post, I understand completely. You are not alone. love, vickie