i'm fed up with myself and myself pitty. i have been over weight as longas ican remember and hit my highest point four years ago. welli was diagnosed with pcos and decided it was time to cut it out and lose some weight. i took four years but i lost 80 pounds and still had a while to go before i was satisfied. i don't believe i'll ever bea size two i'm just not built like that but i do think I can ge the healthy and get below the 'plus sizes' four about the past year and a half i've gained back 20 of that 8 because of my pregnancy, which i could have gained more but i didn't. i found it hard after i gave birth to stop eating whatever i wanted. i'm extremely selfconcious and have a wonderful loving husband but i'm tired of feeling like crap. i'm constantly tired and i have a horrible self image. i'm bipolar and have a lot of issues some of which overlap into my marriage such as jealousy and being self concious. i just feel like i'm not pretty enough for my husband because i'm over weight. he's never given me a sign of feeling that way but I feel that way. i've done a few different things to my look thinking it'd make me feel better but we all know the root of the problem. so i'm done with it. im done with eating things that aren't healthy and drinking soda ect. everyone thinks that having a toddler and a infant you are constantly running after them well it's time consuming but not all that physicall active. since we do have a new born i can't really take my toddler outside when it's just us home and we live in a very buggy area so i'd rather not take our infant outside yet so all i do is take care of the kids and clean the house nothing i feel that's that physical. and honestly i'm so tired that whenever i can sleep i do. i live off energy drinks. and it sucks so i'm done with it all. i'm just going to stop complaining stop feeling self pitty and just do it.
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