Hi, I know how you feel. I have been married now for 8 years and have gained like 60 pounds since I met my husband. He never says anything negative to me or about me actually he is always paying me a compliment. I think the problems that I think we have in our marriage are me. I am not happy with the way I look so therefore i think he feels the same way that I do about myself. I am the one that turns my husband away sexually because of my own insecurities. Maybe our husbands are happy with us in everyway and maybe we need to learn how to be happy with us too. I think that maybe we wives think too much!!! Hugs Denise

I can totally relate to how you feel. I was overweight when we married, however I was not as big when we were dating and when he proposed. He was very active before we were together and I feel like he is adapting to my more seditary life. I have lost 22 lbs in the last couple months. I went off my diet for a week when I was sick and he was very insistant that I start again as soon as possible. I know it was probably because he wants me healthy but I couldn't help but wonder if it is because he really wants to change me.

I am such a blessed woman. My husband is so wonderful. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing or where we are, if we run into someone he knows, he drags me to meet them like he is the proudest man in the world. I can honestly say that I have the best marriage I have ever seen. He wants to support me in losing weight because it's what I want to do. His philosophy is that I have to learn to love myself in order to be successful in making changes. He would like me to see myself the way he sees me. I am told I am beautiful several times each day. I try to keep his thoughts about me in my mind instead of my own thoughts about my outward appearance. It makes such a difference in your life when you are confident in your spouse's opinion. It causes you to be able to open up to them in every way without fear and with trust. I thank God for sending me my husband. We have been married nearly 5 years and he still opens my car door...lol. And by the way girls, we met online. It can happen.

I don't think my feelings of respect, love, and joy change if my husband gains or loses weight. My husband married a fat girl even though his family begged him not to do it. After 7 years of dating and 25 positive years of marriage, I don't think he'd have hung around if he didn't really, truly, like, respect, love, and enjoy my company. Fat, thin, inbetween.

i cant give advice on husbands but this is what i have figured out with men in general...
Im a single girl and when people see pics of ex boyfriends and what not they are almost shocked that I could snag some of those hotties ( shows how much my friends think of me but i digress) and i have learned that if someone likes you.. .they like YOU.
thats one of the bonuses about being big is I know that if someone is talking to me its b/c they like ME and not just my body like those skinny girls LOL

First I'll preface this with, "I have a great Husband". That said, yes he does care if I'm fat, he cares very much. Would he ever come out and say it? NO! Will he leave me? NO! But my husband is like a lot of men, very visual. Let's face it, mens magazines do not feature heavy women. Heck the curviest one that I know of is Anna Nicole and if they are into heavier women it is considered a fetish. The name of it escapes me at this moment. I know that there are men who like their women fat and happy, my husbands not one of them, if he were I would be very happy at the weight I'm at and would stop all this insanity of trying to find the perfect way to lose weight and keep it off. Your not wacko, your just like a lot of us out there trying to conform to a standard of beauty that at times seem impossible.

I'm not married. However. I am dating a *lovely* man right now, and I'm just crazy about him. I honestly think he sees me in a way I don't see myself. He tells me that I am sexy and he says it in a way that makes me believe it.

And Nightshade, I hear ya! He and I met online, too. It was cool because I was upfront about my size so the fact that he didn't cut and run in the preliminary stages was encouraging to me.

I have never felt this way with a man before. If I want to lose weight, that's fine with him, but he's never suggested it, and probably never would. He's dated women of all sizes and I know he likes me because I'm a little spit-fire and sassy and I make him laugh and I treat him well. He's really great. I hope it lasts and I hope there are more like him. He's a gem.

I have been married for 8 years & have been with my husband for 11yrs. I gained about 70 lbs since we first dated & he has also gained weight as well. Sometimes I blame myself for his obesity, strange huh... I have a hard time dealing with my own weight yet still feel that maybe just maybe if I were losing weight, he would also.
My only advice for you is to first work on yourself & then once you are able to get control (not an easy thing for me to do at this point in my life) then you can address any concerns that you have in regards to your husband.
Also I do believe that your husband is with you because of "you" It is not how much you weigh that should determine whether or not a person should be with you. My husband is also about 70 lbs heavier now & I still love him... even more so today than when we first met back in 1996..
Hugs, Allison

I'm a husband, yes husbands can really not care if you gain some because if it's true love he will love you fat or skinny . why can't people accept that? my wife had a gastric bypass 2 years after we met , for health reasons, a friend of mine n me were talking it doesn't matter how big the woman is it's what's inside that counts, I know a guy who gets all the little women I've known him 7 years he's never had one last more than 6 months he's always getting the little women. he's a great guy too except he's trying to get body and brain
I found much nicer women who have weight than skinny ones

Reading all these posts make me realize my former husband not only didn't really love me, but LIKED me fat. His comment was "I don't worry about you cheating, you're so fat no one else would have you". So, I lost 75 pounds and divorced him!
Of course, 25 years later, it's all back.
You ladies with husbands who love you, no matter what size you are, are very lucky and I envy you that acceptance. It's good to know there are men who see the person inside and love her as she is. Thanks for sharing.

I am with all the women on this post - my husband and I have been married going on 4 years and met through yahoo personals 10 years ago. We were both MUCH thinner then and we both have gained a lot of weight over the years. Along with the weight came years of getting to know and love each other. He is a fattie too and I adore him because of the man he is. I know he loves me for the woman I am, fat and all. He is supportive of my continued efforts to change my eating habits. I worry about his health and stress levels and we're both talking about getting in better shape inside and out.

I don't want anyone to get the idea my husband isn't anything but WONDERFUL. He is AWESOME, never once has he made me feel bad about my weight. I know he loves me but I see the way he looks at skinny women and the things he says when he sees a beauty on tv. I just wish we as women could find out exactly what men are thinking. I know he loves me and I probably wouldn't want to know the truth, Iam just curious.