Obesity Support Group

This community is dedicated to those of us struggling with obesity. Obesity is thought to be a significant risk factor in certain health conditions, leading to increased mortality. Find the support you need by sharing your story, asking questions, and learning from others on how they have coped.

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Dealing with family

deleted_user
deleted_user
I need some strength today. When I begain here about a month ago I did not share with my family mostly my Mother who lives with us what I was doing because I didn't want to deal with her energy about it. I have been walking when I am away from home and I have not shared that I was cuting back my eating. Yesterday she noticed that I was making a protien shake and said it is good! we have so much of that left!( what she was really saying is that we had alot left because I quit using it the last time I tried to diet) Then that same day she brought home 1 dozen cupcakes for a church bake sale. Knowing I am the only person in our house that likes sweets. I DID NOT EAT ONE
Then today she brings me an article on a new weight lost shot and asks me to research it for her. She weigh 150 lb and is a size 12. I want to use my drug of choice chocolate right now so bad! to push down my feelings! I have a long road ahead with 100+ lb to loose please pray that I can stay strong!
deleted_user
deleted_user
DONT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF,AND DONT LET ANYONE NO MATTER WHOM IT IS, DISCOURAGE YOU FROM ACHEIVING WHAT YOU ARE SET OUT TO DO.SOMETIMES THE ONES CLOSEST TO US CAN BE SO UNSUPPORTIVE AND INSENSITIVE AND QUITE FRANKLY, BE ASSHOLES AT TIMES,BUT JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH AND DONT LET ANYONE GET TO YOU,YOU WILL DO FINE.IM SURE YOU WILL STAY STRONG,BUT JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE THE SAME PERSON WETHER YOU FALL ONCE, TWICE, OR A THOUSAND TIMES,JUST GET BACK UP,DUST YOURSELF OFF,AND KEEP GOING.I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.GOOD LUCK!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have not really told my family I'm trying to lose weight either. And I know I don't want or need to expose myself to that energy for a long time!

I did mention I'd lost 20 pounds as advised by my doctor for pre-diabetes test results and could feel the difference in their reactions already. You really have to get a very positive mindset to deal with those around you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow! I just want to congratulate you on your strength in making those positive changes! And good for you for not eating a cupcake! It can be so frustrating when those who love us seem to sabotage our efforts. Hang in there and keep up the good work!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I completely understand Anniegal. My family, although very supportive, can be really pushy given the right information. If I told them I was trying hard to lose weight, it would be all that we talk about when we are on the phone. My parents live 750 miles away, so I don't want all of our conversations to be about weight! I know they are just saying it because they love me, but it is better for me without that.

Hang in there, it will be OK. Just try not to think about what they are saying and listen to your inner voice driving you forward.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just remember it is what YOU think that counts!
I have been making some clothes and went up to my parents to show my mom, she said "I like that " and my dad said "whre did you find enough material to go all the way around?" I did not respond, just looked at him. You never really get used to that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You can do this! Stay strong; we're all pulling for you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
my family is always saying things like "we love you just the way you are" and "you don't need to change the way you look, it's what's inside that counts"...well, that may be true, but it's not helping to motivate me to change and make MYSELF the person I want to be....so even if your family doesn't say hurtful things about your weight...they can still put a damper on your attempts.

i just try to ignore them :D

good luck to all of you...you're all in my prayers!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've always heard about saboteurs. Weird. Is it a control thing? Do they even know they're doing it?

Next batch of crap she brings home, put it in the garbage right in front of her. Hell, stuff the whole gloppy mess down into her bedsheets where she can find them with her feet that night. What on earth drives these people?
Seriously, though, I get a lot of help with my chocolate addiction from Russle-Stover's sugar-free chocolate. They're made with splenda and really excellent. My faves are the truffles, toffees and pecan delights!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how stressful family can be! I am definatly an emotional eater. Anytime my husband and I argue or the kids are getting to me I want to pig out on chocolatechip cookies!. Lately I've tried writing my negative feelings in a journal.And if the kids are really stressing me out I try to give myself a time out. I take a walk or lock myself in the bathroom and take a nap. Also you could talk to your mother and let her know that she can either support you or keep her opinions to herself!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sending you strength! Keep in mind your goals, you know what you need to reach them...focus on that. You can do it!
krystlmom
krystlmom
If you are paying attention to your weight, you are not paying attention to your mother. I have a mother in-law like this. She must always be the center of attention.
I have investigated the 'shots' she was referring to. If you are, your age in your profile, Then your mother won't be eligible for the shots. My Daughter is on them right now and the criteria for eligibility for them is way more then Gastric Bypass surgery. Message me and I'll get you more info if you are really interested. Tho if I were you I'd just tell her what I told you and be done with it...;)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know the most annoying thing is when people find out you're trying to lose weight and do things like suggest what they heard works, always say you look thinner since the last time, or otherwise interfere.
But you know what, it's their problem. I try to remember that losing weight is for me, and people who bother me about it, they're wrong, and they're ignorant.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Heh heh. I always like to say (if complimented on weight loss) OMG, I gained weight, I think...change subject like don't care. OR, "OOOOOH, you've lost weight TOO!!!(when they sure as hell haven't) OR, NAH...but just wait till I take off the other shoe". OR "yeah, ya want some of my FAT clothes"? OR, "Maybe...I did just pee and blow my nose..."

The point is, my dear, none of your saboteurs have any contribution to make: Birdshit upon your windshield.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Annie, hang in there girl. I know what you're going through with family bringing in sweets. My mother and sister live with us in their own apartment, and my sister used to bring sweets/desserts almost daily. She finally stopped after numerous requests from me. (Sometimes it made me feel like she was trying to sabotage my effrots.) Keep the faith and hang on to your goals. My prayers are with you. God bless.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I recognise this so much. My mother has been my saboteur since I was a teenager...how about

"Do you really need that last potato?"

or, if you haven't eaten it

"What's wrong with that potato, why haven't you eaten it?"

Either way I did what she wanted but lost control of my own appetite and I lost the ability to determine when I was hungry and when I was satisfied.

Relearning is so hard. I'm trying it again now too. These days if my Mother even mentions diet I immediately start saying "Isn't the weather marvellous/dreadful/etc etc" It didn't take long for her to take the hint that that topic was not up for discussion with her.

It is your business!! Not hers!!!

I too have 100 or so to lose so I'm here beside you! We can do it this time.
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