I was spilling it all with my husband tonight. I keep trying to do this with him and rarely get far. For the first time in a while he told me, again, a fear he has for me that we share. He said he's scared he'll wake up and I'll be dead. This is very likely because of how obese I am. I'm trying to get my insurance to give a prior authorization for a gastric bypass, but they're dragging it on and on and in the process it is stressing by body, but more importantly to me, my marriage and it's making me so sad. I just wanna collapse and cry it hurts so much. I look at my husband and I love him dearly despite all the struggles we have together in almost the last 5 years of marriage and feel so saddened that he's in constant fear for my death whenever he wakes. I want to be better for him but just can't be. There's much more to all this. That's just touching it and what's the deepest thing hurting me right now. I just needed to share this with someone...that maybe someone out there has gone through this...hopefully not but you never know. I wish no one to go through this saddness I'm in.
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