I dunno if anyone can relate to this, but we'll see I suppose. Right now I feel as though my weight has affected everything. Physically it's aggrevated the fibromyalgia in my back, I've got severe lymphedema in my legs, and a host of other problems. I can't walk hardly 100 feet at this point. Tonight my sister decided to dump her plans with me. Said her friends wanted her to go out and she decided to just go home cuz if she decided to go with one and not the other she upsets the ones she's not with. Thing is this, she does this to me often. She breaks plans with me to go with her friends. Her going home tonight is beside the point. The point that she broke her plans with me yet again is what's upsetting me. I am an embarassement to be with because my weight is so bad, I'm an inconvenience because I can't walk while I shop. I have to use a motorized cart. When we eat out, it's gotta be a table most often cuz I don't fit in the booth anymore. I know I'm fat, so fat, my husband acts like he's embarassed to even go out with me. In fact, I don't remember a real night out with him anymore. My son is relaying my breakdowns to his grandpa now, so who's to say that he won't go to his teachers and tell them. I don't need anymore services in my life accusing me of abuse to him or anything. I'm already being treated. I'm just sick of my weight robbing me of everything. I am so sore tonight I don't even want to cook, yet I won't ask my husband to do it. I did in a round about way, but he took out steak, and he knows full well I don't eat steak often, so I'm going to have to come up with something, and I can't even eat something descent because I can't stand long enough to cook it. I'm just so sick of it. So sick of it. It never seems to change. I hope and pray no one can first hand relate, but if you can, maybe we can support one another or something.
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