I need to vent. My bandmate posted a picture video of pictures from a photo shoot last July and put the video to one of our songs. Sounds great, doesn't it? It's a great way to get our sound and image out there. The only problem is, the pictures were taken when I was at my FATTEST. Oh lord, I look horrid in every shot, and I was tired and bloated and puffy due to sleep apnea and I hadn't started cpap therapy or begun my weight loss/better health journey. I've lost 40 pounds maybe even more since then, and I don't look the same now as I did then. My face is thinner, my body is thinner. Don't get me wrong - I still have over 100 pounds to lose, but I've changed, physically and emotionally. I never liked those pics of me, either because I was a miserable person then - so tired and so swollen and depressed. I am not going to ask Joe to remove them or take the video down, but part of me really wants to. The focus should really be on the music and our friendship as a band. It wouldn't be fair for me to deprive the band of this opportunity to be heard and seen. This also gives me more strength and determination to lose weight because there will come a day when I wil want to have another photo shoot to show off a smaller version of me. But damn I look awful in those pics.
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