munchausen by proxy victims of Community Group

This is for the survivors of victimization at the hands of caretakers with munchausen by proxy. Those few who have been identified with the condition never have admitted to it. The disordered person inflicts illness or harm onto their child then seeks help. People whose parent or caretakers subjected them to uneccessary medical treatments and/or harmful substances to induce illness that lead to them being seen as mentally or physically ill, are the "proxy."

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Psychiatric MSBP

All,

A recent (poorly translated) abstract was presented at a scientific meeting on the concept of "psychiatric" MSBP: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0924933812745224

My mother had this. When I was a toddler (born in 1971), I had a bladder infection that went untreated while she tried to get me diagnosed as a bedwetter, which was seen as largely a psych disorder. When I almost died of sepsis and thus the infection went away while I was soaked in anti-biotics, my mother claimed food and other (Christmas tree, cats, fireplace fires) allergies (exaggerations of fall hay fever) to try to get me to be ADHD. You can see the trends in psych illnesses here. Finally, she figured out if she was mean (and I mean MEAN) to me, I would present with depression at a very young age (7 and 8), so that was her next tactic. When "bipolar" became mentioned, that's what I had, and it wasn't until January of this year that I realized that was insane - you can't diagnose bipolar at 7 or 8, and besides, I'm over 40 now and I know I don't have it. At age 10, I could tell you all about the etiology, epidemiology, signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder - which I don't have - which took me 40 years to really realize. It's hard to believe my mom is a sociopath, but she is, alas.

Psychiatric MSBP is not much safer than the garden variety. However, it is almost wholly undocumented. I realize traditional MSBP may have some psychiatric overtones (e.g., targeted diseases to do with autism/learning disabilities/Asperger's, claims of mental health causes of physical illnesses so they don't get treated, etc.). Anything you can do to shed light on my situation and help me shore up some facts about the P-MSBP presentation, I'd be very grateful.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Jenny,

Thank you so much for your reply!

Firstly, I will read the posts of WeenieHotDog and Nathaline! Thank you.

In my research, I have found a book from the 90s that said careful study has not identified any female "physicians" as perpetrators, just nurses, for MSBP (not P-MSBP). So your description of these two P-MSBP moms who are NOT nurses is important, as I feel the high socio-economic status moms are flying under the radar because they are better at deception (due to cleverness and also conferred status). It's not that there are no physicians out there doing this, it's just that they are better at deception thus are not caught.

Secondly, although I should have found this obvious, I never realized how many people must read and never write, and how this brings them comfort. I am one, I guess, although I have decided to post now that I have something to say. For many years, I didn't know what to say. That's what's hard about it - as a kid, I called runaway hotlines and tried to report child abuse, but I had no real evidence. My mom takes me to therapists? That didn't seem like child abuse even to me, so how can some kid <14 prove that case? So I will write, and keep in mind what you say about people reading it.

Third, I am interested in the mortality rate. I have read several articles on MSBP. You quote a mortality rate of 10%. I believe this is a conservative estimate; I have seen the estimate as high as 30%. The epidemiology is very difficult because usually when a victim is rescued, there is the realization of several deceased siblings where MSBP was not suspected during their life, so investigators are stymied. On the other hand, sibling involvement is not universal. That figure is also unstable as well, I've seen estimates hover around 50% chance that if you find a victim, siblings are also victims.

The bottom line is I am an epidemiologist, and the epi of MSBP is already difficult because only the most extreme cases are being identified. I hope if we raise the awareness of this issue, more adult victims (like us) will come forward.

It's not too late just because we're adults, the mom herself may be deceased or no longer an active perpetrator, and legal action is no longer feasible. We can get our medical records ourselves and anyone who wants can try to help me with the epidemiology. That's the only way we can get good solid mortality and sibling involvement estimates: for MSBP and for P-MSBP.

And also, we need to heal, too, and we need to take those records and show them to the medical/mental health establishment so they can maybe even use EMR alerts to try to identify these moms in action. Even if I have problems the rest of my life, I will feel comforted if I forwarded the detection of current cases and can help a little girl like I was escape early in the abuse period.

Dr. Marc Feldman's page is very good: http://www.munchausen.com/

However, he is not a patient, and a mounting a patient movement is not his role. We need to come forward and donate our stories/data to the epidemiology in a grass roots effort so we can count ourselves and bring ourselves to the medical literature. We need our own voice. Only then will we know these rates, and be able to advise the medical/psychological profession (or as I like to call it, the medical-industrial complex) as to how to spot these people.

I'm especially interested in anyone who feels comfortable who can speak to these points, which the medical/scientific literature lacks insight on:

1. How are male victims treated differently from female (since the perpetrator is almost always female)? Mainly, I'm curious about the medical abuse to the girl that involves her vagina that seems to happen in the infant-3 year old range. Is this a sexual abuse thing the mom is acting out? Are only sexually-abused moms prone to this particular endeavor, which can happen in MSBP and P-MSBP?

2. I am also curious about how the mom may cultivate Stockholm Syndrome among the family members. Even though providers are changed, the family members, including the victim, are often aware of the mom's actions and rationalize them away. Not much is written about the husbands/dads. Mine was severely psychologically abused and was very involved with our lives - he was made to be the "distant" father portrayed in the research by my mom's manipulation. He suffered a great deal from her abuse for years after she ejected him from the family. Anyone have any insight into the dads?

3. My brother is younger than me by 5 years. The abuse was in full swing when he was born. My parents treated him nicely, even neglectfully, but because of my mom's treatment of me as "mean" (to produce psych effects), I was terribly mean to him from the time he was a baby. My perception was that he got the love I wanted (wrong, I realize now) and I physically and mentally tortured him. He is in his 30s and after observing this abuse of me and my dad, and being abused by me (and neglected by our parents as part of the deal), he's having a lot of struggles in life. He still doesn't see my mom as a perpetrator and gets very upset at any mention of her. He lives with dad and goes over to mom's to see her every day, and refuses to believe she is a perpetrator. She is indifferent to him. Does anyone have any info on adult siblings who witnessed the abuse? What's wrong with them, and what helps them?

4. When I was 8 and my brother was 3, my mom suddenly threw my dad out and said she wanted a divorce. She never dated again, so it wasn't like she wanted a different mate. In retrospect, it was clearly because she was working on P-MSBP'ing me, and he got in the way. I see that moms tend to completely get rid of the distant dads at some point in the abuse. Does this always happen? And what is the timing and method of getting rid of the dad?

5. What do adult victims get? I am 41, and I have psychogenic fugue and vaginismus, but after a lot of therapy and yoga and such, I really don't have any more depression or anxiety besides the extreme fugue/vaginismus reaction. However, until about 10 years ago, I was miserably depressed and suicidal. My brother, the witness, has OCD-like anxiety spectrum problems such as porn obsession, an actual addiction to low-addictive things like marijuana and watching sports (yes, an addiction!), but we were both lucky in that we can't tolerate drugs or we both would definitely be drug addicts.

6. Has anyone had any success talking to their moms? Luckily, unlike in Sickened, my mom did not seek other victims. I fled from her a little over 20 years ago, and her life no longer involved kids after my brother and I grew up. In fact, it involved no one pretty much. By running away, I broke her sociopathic heart. There is no point in legal action, therefore, but I would like to get some information out of her the next time I see her that I can give to my (and my brother's) therapist that can help. Has anyone had any luck with getting a good interview with the perpetrator like they do on CSI, not to accuse her, but just to get her pathological reasoning down in video/writing?

I also am sorry to hear of your surgery and all the other health things going on with the Founder. I'm also encouraged that I'm 41 and you're 61 and though we are smart, our moms were pretty good at deceiving us all this time.

Thank you, Jenny, and thank you to everyone reading this. Thank you for holding on and surviving to tell your story. "The plural of anecdote is not data". I hope to hear all of your thoughts, but even if I don't, know that mine go out to you - and I believe your story.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Jenny,

Thank you for your reply - and good luck with your "lovecat" Sam! My "lovecat" Kiki says meow to Sam and hopes him a swift recovery!

I did not know that 1977 was the magic year. I was 6 and mom was in full force. Thank you for that stat.

I also did not know that perp moms invade the support sites. My mom was not so pernicious, so I am naive to that. I guess it's a balance between good admin/monitoring of the site, and us survivors who are feeling more on the strong side speaking out when we can.

You hit the nail on the head about not bothering to track the victims. Epidemiologists make registries. I could do this, especially in Massachusetts, as registries are state entities, and I am in Boston near the Department of Public Health. Registries and domestic violence is being taken very seriously here. Setting up a registry requires lobbying and logistics and such, but it's a worthy cause, and Mass. residents favor public health.

I am glad you have the courage to disclaim your "medical history". I have started doing that, too, explaining that I have traumatic disorders secondary to P-MSBP when meaningful to doctors (like visiting friends in the hospital where I often have fugues). I have also decided that I cannot give my psychiatric history orally anymore. I have decided to write it down and submit it each time I go to psychiatry/therapy for a "tune-up". That way, I do not have to say it again because it is too painful and long.

I hear what you say about the survivors being "too unstable to be credible", because some of us had moms who had co-morbid bipolar or schizophrenia, or other organic brain disorders, and we survivors have that as well. (I was lucky - my mom doesn't have either of these.) Worse, some (like me) see MSBP as a "personality disorder subtype" (PD). PD is entirely environmentally caused, however, you can imagine a bipolar/PD person with a bipolar kid may create a bipolar/PD adult. In fact, simply having a PD parent can create a PD adult. Luckily, my brother and I do not have PD, but perhaps PD, bipolar/schizophrenia, or both are responsible for the difficulty with some survivors to achieve stability enough to report their own abuse accurately.

I am inspired by how forthcoming you are. I like continuing this dialogue - hoping others will read, and also hoping they will jump in. I'm a scientist "on the inside" because I am a survivor as well. I can be a good spokesperson because I speak doctorese and legalese as well as public healthese. And I'm not that concerned about being anonymous (I am now as I wade into these waters...but that will go away when I am more comfortable).

The bottom line is the literature is lacking in information about 1) how the spouses are recruited and co-opted - there is a place for preventive intervention there, 2) risk assessment scores for MSBP (e.g., 3 different evals for the same dx = high risk and should be investigated to see if it's real or MSBP) - another place for preventive intervention, and 3) tracking long-term outcomes of survivors, thus providing recommendations on their resulting actual psychiatric dx'es and effective treatment (which is not preventive, but can help if identified).

I think it will always be hard to identify in babies, as babies always have things wrong with them, and parents are always concerned. I feel like at age 4 and 5, when the child can talk and clearly react with fear, happiness, etc. is when screening should work for high risk kids, and the high risk ones investigated further to rule out MSBP.

Thank you, Jenny! A big hug to you, and to all who read this.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Jenny,

Thank you so much for your heartfelt post! Yes, the storms are passing me, too - in reality as well as metaphorically!

Regarding screening age: I agree that we need a screening age earlier than 4-5. However, we need to start somewhere, and that is where the difference between, "I think my kid is autistic" and "I'm harming my kid for attention" can be more easily discerned. Then we can walk back the epi to an earlier screen. An example is Alzheimer's: Once a person is severely affected, screens work very easily. The trick is walking them back to where a person is just starting to diverge from "normal".

In your story (which is heart-shattering, especially looking out of the oven), I see that if starting at age 5, after the drowning/lung damage was done, the screening took place, I think your mom would have been identified. Yes, that is too late for your lungs, but not too late for the endocarditis at 8 or the homicide attempt at 19. We call it "secondary prevention" in epi, and we prefer primary, but with these highly deceptive moms, we have to start there, I believe. As you know, there is little useful research because it's hard and no one has taken it on. And if we got a good screen for 4-5, we could walk back from there to earlier ages, when it will be harder to tell pathological vs. normal engagement with the health care system.

I am very sorry for your concomitant sexual abuse. That did not help at all. I did not get sexually abused (unless you count the medical abuse from the unnecessarily prolonged bladder infection...but I don't because it was medical and not sexual in nature). Therefore, when my friend, who adopted a girl who had been ritually tortured, suggested that I had something like DID and I should check it out, I found I actually have Dissociative Fugue (formerly Psychogenic Fugue) which is similar to DID but different. I never lose my identity - I always know who I am - but where and when I am seems all jumbled, and if with a boyfriend, I often don't remember which one it is since I have had a few in life (I'm 41!). I'll be in a city and the license plates will say Mass., but I'll think I'm in another state I used to live in. It is really bad in hospitals - my boyfriend has BPD and I always have a fugue if I visit him when he's hospitalized. It's bad in stores and at night outside, especially in parking lots. I have found very few posts online about it from sufferers; it seems stores and parking lots are common problem areas for some reason.

I have thought that DID is worse than Fugue, but now I see that your other personalities kept track of this abuse and reported it to you later, before they fused into the rest of you. I am starting to see dissociation as fascinatingly functional, although I'm sure we both agree that it wears out its welcome quick! Dissociating is exhausting!!! Congratulations on such success in therapy - that the flashbacks stopped and the voices of your past are happy and functioning! I need to get to the "flashbacks stopped" thing in order to cure my vaginismus (and also not make a fool of myself dissociating in front of people). Oh well, I just got my dx, one thing at a time....

I need to read this whole board, even the old posts. I will do this. I think at some point we should connect in RL and talk about what the next steps in public health should be for MSBP and also P-MSBP. I am a specialist in public health advocacy, I'm a sufferer, and I think together, we can get something real done. "Something real" could be as simple as having a risk screen that allergists (common MSBP presentation!) or other types of practitioners who are often consulted in MSBP (e.g., asthma docs) can give to parents like that one with the little girl you mentioned that can place the child in a high or low risk category. The high risk requires follow-up, that's all. A kid with leukemia may look "high risk" and then be found to be having normal interactions with the health care system, for example, because it's just a screen.

As another idea, I'll draw an comparison to Alzheimer's research, where you have a person who is vulnerable and another person who is in charge of them (similar to children/parents). In Alzheimer's, we'd interview/collect data from patients, but you can imagine how messy that is! Then we would collect information about the patients from "informants" - usually non-Alzheimer's spouse or other family member.

However, we'd ALSO collect information about what the data collector (often a health care practitioner) thought about the validity of the informant's answers. If the informant seemed like s/he was minimizing the patient's symptoms, or didn't know much because s/he didn't know the patient well, or was really rude to the interviewer, the data collector could jot that down and it would go into the analysis.

Simply recording the mother's affect would have done it for me. At age 13, I was in a family meeting and given a diagnosis and sentence, er, treatment regimen that involved psychiatric hospitalization. I was so frustrated because there was nothing wrong with me! I screamed for several minutes straight. I remember my dad's face - he reached over and held my hand, and tears ran out of his eyes. But I looked at my mom, and she looked perfectly serene.

When I woke up in the hospital at age 18 after a suicide attempt (while dissociated, so of course it was botched!), my mom happened to be sitting there with me, and I saw the same serene look. I was on a respirator, so when I saw her, I started waving my arms around to get her out of there because I could not talk. They came and restrained me. The next time I woke up, I was tied to the bed.

So simply measuring maternal affect from a trained observer would be a great addition to the risk screen. That itself would be a very telling item.

I'm getting excited that something could be done about this! Thank you for inspiring me, Jenny! I hope we can pull a community of us's together and do something real like this. But if it's just you and me, well hey, gotta start somewhere.

Hugs to all who are reading this, and thanks so much for your post, Jenny! Hope the hubby enjoyed the meal ;)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Jen!

I love your articulate and thoughtful responses! In this last one, though, I detect a theme of feeling like the mountain of developing a clinical screening tool is just so daunting to climb, it seems exhausting just looking at it. Let me offer you my view.

We cannot go out there and figure out who in the clinic isn't getting their diabetes follow-up, etc. We use data from health care encounters. I do this kind of work. We know who isn't getting shots, or is running out of meds, etc., electronically. We built algorithms by doing research with people in front of us who we know were, for example, drug-seekers, then deduced their patterns in data, and now we can identify them quite reliably from patients with normal pain med use. Why? They interact with the health care system in a certain distinguishable pattern.

Kids who are held at home, kidnapped or otherwise neglected by their parents, who never see the health care system, are definitely abused, but could definitely NOT be identified this way. Therefore, using health encounter data to identify child abuse has never been done, as far as I can tell. There are WAY more than 100 cases per year, I'm sure.

Jen, you do not see much in the patterns in the stories we have heard. Everyone seems to be so unique, and our only common denominator is this uniquely sociopathic MSBP experience. But because my eyes see differently, I actually see patterns that are meaningful that could be easily pulled out of health care billing data.

For one, many present with food allergies and have a weird interaction pattern with allergists. There are kids with known food allergies that are mild to severe who interact normally with health care. MSBP kids/moms do not, we already know from many stories and other research. But no one has tried to develop a screen for allergists to see if their peds patients are high risk for MSBP. Why? Because I'm probably the first epidemiologist who has ever been an MSBP survivor. It was a black statistician at the CDC who noticed Tuskegee was totally unethical.

Now I am a survivor in public health going, "This is probably the easiest disease in the world to screen for because 1) parents overpresent to the health care system and we have all that data and 2) it's easy to compare their pattern to non-MSBP kids who have the real disease being treated at the clinic." The key is the patterns of 1) redoing diagnostic tests and 2) changing providers. I know there is a lot more to it, but just these two simple things could be done with existing data to develop a simple screen. Kid's age would have to be in the equation, and that's on billing data.

From a simple example like this, you can develop a risk screen and you know who should do it to whom, when. Examples include the CAGE for alcoholism, the ESS for sleepiness, and I know the ADA has a diabetic risk score thing. If someone screens as high risk for MSBP on this data-driven screen, there will be a procedure that the hospital/clinic uses to investigate whether it's a false positive or not. I have taken out of the library several books with advice on how to investigate MSBP - that seems to be rather well-developed. But how to prevent it, or at least, catch it early? Or at all? I guess you have to be a survivor to think about that one!

Because a risk screen like that can be easily institutionalized, clinicians stop seeing it as "ratting on their colleagues". Clinicians see it as protection. Nothing is more heartbreaking than being a clinician and being told you helped kill your patient by accident, especially a baby or child. This happens a lot to people who deal with emergency transfusions in chronically transfused (often transplant recipient) patients (who can be children). Sometimes you just pick the wrong thing to transfuse and the patient (who was already dying) dies, and later you realize your intervention must have killed him/her (but we could not tell until afterward).

So if you are a clinician, and you start to suspect MSBP or there is just some clinical rule that you do this screen at age 6, and age 8, etc., so you do this typical screen (which may not even involve much interaction, but just observation, of mom), and there is a high score, you can just turn on the investigation procedure and have that get done. If it's negative and the mom is huffy, you just explain that we are trying to protect other peoples' kids, and thanks for playing.

Non-MSBP moms are not that afraid to get investigated because they aren't doing anything. Non-MSBP moms who are dragging their poor leukemia kids to appointments are, by easy eyeball inspection, not the MSBP moms we are looking for. That's why these risk screens really work - if you get a false positive, it's usually pretty obvious if an expert (or probably you or me, heh!) talks to mom.

It's the false negatives you worry about, but you cannot catch everyone. HOWEVER, if we develop age-specific screens, and MSBP rages on, they will keep presenting, keep getting screened, and increase their chances of a true positive.

You are correct to remind me to focus on not getting retraumatized. But since I figured out what happened, I feel really different. My mom (possibly unlike others) was not physically threatening at all. She held us in check by being terribly emotionally abusive. The good part is when you see through the veil, it doesn't work anymore. I never knew the answer before to why my brother and I were screwed up, what our mom did to us, and why we didn't like our mom. Everyone my whole life has been trying to get me to be close to her. Now I have a calm answer: My mom has MSBP and I was a target victim. MSBP moms refuse to be evaluated and get therapy as my mom has, and victims are advised to cease contact with the parent. That's why there are things wrong with me, and why I do not contact my mom.

Because my mom was more deceptive than scary, she just looks like a sorry old lady to me now. I'm not even mad at her. In fact, my smart dad and myself look like bamboozled fools. The answer was always there in front of us, but we couldn't accept the motive. That's the problem. So many people can be Stockholmed this way. Those are the unreported cases. But even my mom, who was not particularly physically abusive, could have been picked up by the "too many diagnostics for the same condition in a time period" and the "changing providers too often in a time period" algorithm if run on our mental health insurance payments. I really see the light here.

I really feel your desperation to communicate to the medical community. They need your story - your story has more of what they need to hear. But they also need to hear what they can do about it. That's where I come in. I have a story, but I tell mine with my voice, which is a scientist's voice. Science can make a person aloof, the way a writer may write and not experience anything. However, both epidemiologists and reporters have been famous activists (I mention Tuskegee), and my kind of science is the kind you do when you ARE involved. That's why it is important that diverse people (especially those with different mental illnesses) actually become epidemiologists, so they can bring their science to the table, just like I hopefully can (with the help of others) bring my simple, preventive ideas to the table.

Your story of Constantinova is telling. My mom did not have an organic brain disorder, but some MSBP moms do. This not only means their children may have the same disorder, but it means that the MSBP abuse might even be worse. If you already have psychosis and delusions, and someone else is messing with your head, I would not be surprised if you cannot be much of a victim's advocate. This is why people like us need to speak for people like Constantinova. She didn't deserve MSBP, and she did deserve mental health treatment for what she actually had.

In a way, I am guided by my experience with an ex who was struggling with drug problems. I went to AA a lot with him. You see all kinds at AA, especially if you are a regular. You see that some AA people are like Constantinova, and you think thank goodness they are not drinking on top of it. But then some AA people are like us. We look pretty good now, but we know what we looked like on some of those other days in the past, and we are here to give encouragement to those who look like that now that they just need to "keep coming back" and keep trying and they'll get there.

I do not know how to private message on here as I am so new. But if you do message me your phone number, I'll find the message and reply with mine, and it would be a honor to meet you. I would be so grateful to arrange that; thank you for your generosity.

The more we talk, the more I'm convinced we have to do something real. Not sure what, but something, because no one else seems to be doing it, and we know nothing is moving forward for the future us's.

Have a good day - Jenny - and everyone else out there!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am a television producer working on a show for the Biography channel about Muchausen Syndrome/Muchausen by Proxy. We are very interested in profiling those stories of survivors who are willing to talk about their situation and how it has impacted their life. If anybody is interested in discussing this with me I would appreciate you getting in touch with me as soon as possible either by return post or e-mail me at cbull@sfpseattle.com or call me at: 206/763-3383 ext. 252.

Warm regards,

Chris Bull
Sr. Producer
assholemagnet
assholemagnet

I am a psych msbp. at age 18 . yes it is possible for an adult or older kid to become a victim and it was me not my siblings. I was also the achiever and touched by god. an talented .the family went from protective concern to then use me as scapegoat for their mental iissue with one sister becoming the queen of sick and the roll model for trying to keep me sic k and stil actie as until I get a judge to hear my story and clean u my medical records ther be no peace. I escaped 19 years of this and the medical care I got was tainted and not geared toward my reporting this ior my even healing as the persons poor medical care di not listen toword isaid. but induced new msbp on me by taking the context of what I said and using it to kill me this time and induce mental breakd ownf rom lack of care my sister is the emulation of satan. the spirit witch of the air. and she can not see heslr or stop shes maniac depressive and bi polar and mpdo..
assholemagnet
assholemagnet

my mother is denial ridden Ludacris delusional woman. my sister is just like her and the father and worse.. and the others all are like Stockholm syndrome but in more ways they knw I had a bigmouth and my life and mywell being was not a concern if I became damge d it was their target to damage me like them. the others if not are dull minded or narcissistic and feel its all good. I ran away at age 22 and did not go back but I was left with wounds needing tobe treated from abuse. I sufferered 12 years of hell an I was also in high risk to be turned into a mentally ill prseon and lost to this with no one ever question . doctors were told a lie never even cared if it not hold water insurance and othe ws the motive and I ws just taken in and my life tainted in a snow ball of liees and it lead me down road to hell.. finaly I got courage to take a leap of faith cut the doctors off that I kept rpeat my story over and over until it almost drove me insane and I had to ask god to not lose my life and be left mentally damaged. then I got a miracle. wheni speak of this the guilty sister get others to go along and laugh at it in sick laughter like this is going to keep her out of court to humilat me . I hope it gets her more time in prison for life. and the mother wh I don't care how old she is need to be put in prison the father died.. I had no contact with them for 19 years and funny that my life went back to who I was before this. howeer also theydid nt seem to thrill and also jelous that I did not get cancer like them and they got sick and I did not. some of things that came out of mouth of any all of them was not about sorrow or remorse but of them and their ills not me.. and why I did not get cancer when its like we abused u and defeated u and u dare to come up over us and we go to prison for you????? this is sick that it left me an orphan.. and I got to drs reported this to get care and the instead iduced it on me again. so I can relate to the retrauma because they aimed to retraumatize me to make me look ill so I had no stand in life and to reverse my being able to socialize thrive and make friends which would make them look sick and evil.. and my rising to fame also. was not their intention. I planne to make them poor and homeless as they made me. my mother took me at age 18 a honor student in art schoolno drugs no issues and I healed myself from bulimia with noissues. I had a wonderful summer then this tookplace myfather induced it to make me not go to school and his sick motives . the mother got attention from it and began totell me , I had to be sick because I did nt go to the prom like her. or I did not get her sunglassed by the pool like five years ago.. and more sick shit. and told doctors this . the doctor told myfahter leave me alone.. but he insisted. when I began to freak out of them invading my life new body and mind they told doctor to diagnose me the coward doctor then tried to cover up anddid not protect me . and that lead to fake diagnosis.. he had told my father leave me alone and my father insisted. then when he began to realize he started woods in fire. and not stop it. that he said to me ohhhh. stay away from doctors. it did not stop the fire and then he added gas to it to lie and keep the lie. my mother again an evil woman did not tell doctors truth but began to indulge In it in her sick child with mental illness and said I had to live in half way houses and homeless shelters ?? my sibling got cars and got to live and thrive and I was torture and had never to ask me why they ha same mother and father and they di nt have issues I had.???? this is unreal that somene faking intelligence a sister who can pretend to a doctor to be sane can saythis . this is basic. that I was tortured theyw ere coddled and theytraveld while I was tortured depraved and then wheni got well . they wanted me to be sick. I began to rise up to fame over them and cut them off. the one sister the maniac witch tried to track me down and keep me a hostage to shut me uo and contradicts every word I said and try to induce othes with sick lives to do same. shes the issue to go to jail soon I hope shes like a witch doctor..
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  • ainteasybeineazy

    It's my Birthday and no one cares

    Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...