
Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
This community is a place where members can discuss current events and weigh in on what's going on in the world.

deleted_user
Now that I'm single and dating, I realize that I don't know if and when I'm supposed to tell someone? Do you tell them before you start really dating or wait for the relationship to blossom?? I've meet a guy (yay me)he lives a bit south of me and we've been talking every night for hours, we might actually go out to dinner or a movie this week. We have these long conversations on life, our past marriages, his kids, him maybe wanting more kids, our dreams in life, ect. We talked about how honesty and communication are important in a relationship. I really want to tell him (I've been doing amazing since the tsybri treatment and getting out of my craptastic marrage) I'm afraid this will scare him away. Any advice would be apreciated!!
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I didn't tell my boyfriend (over 4 years together now) until we were about 3 months into the relationship, and for us, I think that was too early. He moved very slowly with the relationship, and I still wasn't sure where it was going at that point; so when he asked me a very specific question about some comment I had made about health insurance, I told him because I didnt want to be dishonest. I gave him too much information for him to absorb, and I think it scared him. Hes still very skittish about the subject were at the point now where he can watch me inject, but he couldnt handle it when I was on steroids last year. After that, I went to get a bunch of info from my local NMSS chapter to help him deal with my diagnosis.
Bottom line: you know yourself better than anyone else does. If you are comfortable with discussing it, go for it. If you do, then I recommend pre-preparing what you will say and beware oversharing like I did (just because I was comfortable with it DID NOT guarantee he would be the NMSS might be able to help you with tips on disclosing)! If you decide to hold off, it doesnt hurt to get to know him a little better so you can decide when the right time is to let him know. Good luck with whatever you decide, and I hope you have your date!
I'm not going to tell you how important it is that he knows. It looks to me as though everybody else has beaten me to it, and it's good advice. The only thing I can add that might be even remotely helpful is that if this guy is that easily frightened, it's better to scare the crap out of him now. That way, if you find yourself waving goodbye to him as he's running away, you can do so thinking, Well, at least I didn't marry him!
On top of that, I'm pretty sure you don't want to tell him that you have MS, and spend hours just arguing with him about why he wasn't told sooner. The sooner the better.
Yeah, just tell him over dinner, but don't make a big production out of it. He's either man enough to handle it or he isn't, and it won't be determined by how it's broken to him. Just be upfront and honest. If there is going to be a big production, let him be the producer.
I hope it goes well for you, sister.