Well, I say honesty and communication in a relationship is important also. Tell him, don't hide anything from him. If he is worth anything. . .this wont matter. You deserve someone who wants to be with you for who you are no matter what!

Maybe I can get up the guts to tell him tomarrow, ugh, I really like him......Do you think I should at least wait till we have dinner together? We have been talking for a week now, and we really "get" each other. I'm afraid if I tell him, there won't be a first date even :(

COMMUNUNICATION IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. T THIINK YOU SHOULD TELL HIM MAYBE OVER DINNER. IF HE WORTH ANYTHING THIS WONT MATTER AT ALL. HE WILL THINK MORE OF THE RELATIONSHIPAND YOUR HONESTY. I HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS ALSO AND IT WENT WELL STILL TOGETHER AFTER 7 YEARS. I KNOW YOUR SCARED I WISH YOU WELL. KEEP YOUR CHIN UP.

i've been single since my ms dx and do find dating quite difficult - i don't have any obvous outward symptoms at the moment but still when/how to disclose? if your comfortable with it i'd say wait a few dates - you might find something with him you don't like when you meet

I don't think MS is something to be emabarassed or ashamed of! It's a part of you, there is nothing you can do about that. True love will except EVERYTHING you have to offer, MS included. I know it's a hard subject, and hard to approach, but it will be worth it in the end. I bet, if he's a good man, it's not going to matter to him. Let us know how things go. I'll be praying for you sister.

Congrats on feeling better on so many levels! And congrats on getting back out there and finding someone of interest. I hope you do get that in-person date! I think you've gotten a lot of great viewpoints on this subject, so you've got a lot to think about. Youre in a tough situation, so I feel for you: do you tell; do you not tell? You never know how someone will react to disclosure of MS because not many people understand it. Based on my experience, disclosing scares people family, friends, boyfriends, employers. Disclosing too early before someone really gets to know you can be tricky, particularly because you may not know him/her well enough to know how he/she will react.

I didn't tell my boyfriend (over 4 years together now) until we were about 3 months into the relationship, and for us, I think that was too early. He moved very slowly with the relationship, and I still wasn't sure where it was going at that point; so when he asked me a very specific question about some comment I had made about health insurance, I told him because I didnt want to be dishonest. I gave him too much information for him to absorb, and I think it scared him. Hes still very skittish about the subject were at the point now where he can watch me inject, but he couldnt handle it when I was on steroids last year. After that, I went to get a bunch of info from my local NMSS chapter to help him deal with my diagnosis.

Bottom line: you know yourself better than anyone else does. If you are comfortable with discussing it, go for it. If you do, then I recommend pre-preparing what you will say and beware oversharing like I did (just because I was comfortable with it DID NOT guarantee he would be the NMSS might be able to help you with tips on disclosing)! If you decide to hold off, it doesnt hurt to get to know him a little better so you can decide when the right time is to let him know. Good luck with whatever you decide, and I hope you have your date!

Great advice Joanne! I guess I think people are like me, I accept anything anyone tells me no matter what. I just feel that's what friends should do. People are people no matter what they're going through. You either accept them for who they are, or you don't. I myself don't like playing guessing games, I like it right out on the table so I can deal with it. You'll know the right time to tell, you'll feel it in your heart. And if this man is anything like you've described, I think he'll be curious to find out more. I don't think he'll run. People are more accepting about things then we like to think. If you make it a comfortable situation, you'll have no problem. Good luck!

I don't know what to tell you. I was married for 3 years before I was diagnosed with MS. I have been lucky with the husband I have. I was divorced with 1 child already when we met, now 3 kids in less than 3 years later this happens. I will just tell you to do what you feel you need too. I guess if it scares him away he isn't really worth it. I just wanted to say good luck.

Oh wow.
I'm not going to tell you how important it is that he knows. It looks to me as though everybody else has beaten me to it, and it's good advice. The only thing I can add that might be even remotely helpful is that if this guy is that easily frightened, it's better to scare the crap out of him now. That way, if you find yourself waving goodbye to him as he's running away, you can do so thinking, Well, at least I didn't marry him!

On top of that, I'm pretty sure you don't want to tell him that you have MS, and spend hours just arguing with him about why he wasn't told sooner. The sooner the better.

Yeah, just tell him over dinner, but don't make a big production out of it. He's either man enough to handle it or he isn't, and it won't be determined by how it's broken to him. Just be upfront and honest. If there is going to be a big production, let him be the producer.

I hope it goes well for you, sister.