Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
This community is a place where members can discuss current events and weigh in on what's going on in the world.
Anyone have any advice on how to handle MS when meeting new people. I've gone with the philosophy of not telling until it is clear that dating someone is gonna go somewhere and being honest about it. Apparently taking that approach hasn't worked out so well for me. I am angry and disheartened by the people I have been in relationships. Let me list my failures to date:
1998-1999 - High School crush turned Engagement failed due to depression and sexual dysfunction from time to time
2000-2006 - Very long relationship that was very loving but only supportive until I was unable to work. Constantly told that it could always be worse as the way she dealt with my MS. Yeah it always could be worse but, that doesn't help me out when people say that to me. It just makes me feel worse and alone.
2006-present - Got married and she knew all awhile prior to marriage all of the above and all of the possible symptoms and things that affect me with MS. Yup, that kinda honesty earned me her grounds for divorce 9 months later when it affected my sex drive and a front row seat in court. Not to mention I have to disprove her saying I am incurably impotent. That is not true Now I get to watch everything it has taken me a lifetime to save for and have disappears with no possibility of ever being able to make it back if my wife can prove pigs really do fly. And that everyone is all my fault right? It just never seems that no one other than me takes credit for what they do or how they treat me.
So my questions are what am I not doing right, what am I obviously doing wrong, and how do I even imagine being with someone else after this. Oh, did I forget to mention my wife gave me the gift of herpes as my consolation prise... Yippee. Who would want me now when I am ready to date again. Very depressing.
1998-1999 - High School crush turned Engagement failed due to depression and sexual dysfunction from time to time
2000-2006 - Very long relationship that was very loving but only supportive until I was unable to work. Constantly told that it could always be worse as the way she dealt with my MS. Yeah it always could be worse but, that doesn't help me out when people say that to me. It just makes me feel worse and alone.
2006-present - Got married and she knew all awhile prior to marriage all of the above and all of the possible symptoms and things that affect me with MS. Yup, that kinda honesty earned me her grounds for divorce 9 months later when it affected my sex drive and a front row seat in court. Not to mention I have to disprove her saying I am incurably impotent. That is not true Now I get to watch everything it has taken me a lifetime to save for and have disappears with no possibility of ever being able to make it back if my wife can prove pigs really do fly. And that everyone is all my fault right? It just never seems that no one other than me takes credit for what they do or how they treat me.
So my questions are what am I not doing right, what am I obviously doing wrong, and how do I even imagine being with someone else after this. Oh, did I forget to mention my wife gave me the gift of herpes as my consolation prise... Yippee. Who would want me now when I am ready to date again. Very depressing.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
There are many wonderful women out there--you haven't met your 'soulmate' yet I'd guess.
You might think about joining a singles group that is aligned with a church. Perhaps you'll meet someone who will value you for who you are and not devalue you due to a disease you did not ask for.
It seems like in this community we have spouses who are very committed and caring--those who take their marriage vows quite seriously and love us unconditionally or those who cannot handle what this disease does to us. Unfortunately, you seem to have gotten the latter, now you're due for the other! I wish you nothing but the best. Don't give up.
she's in a large in person support group and is looking to date someone with m.s.
she would still try it with a healthy person if someone came along.
its not a matter of how ur approaching it(which I think is a great way by the way)
its more of the wrong person...sad to say u haven't found the right one yet and when you do, she will love you no matter what.Sorry about ur departing gift that was a low blow...maybe have that entered in the court as an example of what kind of person she is.(espescially if u suspect he of cheating) I wish you lots of luck and best wishes
Many Hugz
Morgaine
I promise there are people that will look beyond MS and see the person inside. It's definitly a case by case situation. Each person is different, they don't deserve the same disclosure rules. You may find too, that someone you develop a friendship with first, is someone that will be the kind of person you will be the happiest with.
Plus...I know it's hard, but dude, you need to work on your self esteem. That's the first step. If YOU keep believing nobody would want you, then others will start to believe it too. Smile Toots, we know how it is...you'll be ok. -Jen
I promise there are people that will look beyond MS and see the person inside. It's definitly a case by case situation. Each person is different, they don't deserve the same disclosure rules. You may find too, that someone you develop a friendship with first, is someone that will be the kind of person you will be the happiest with.
Plus...I know it's hard, but dude, you need to work on your self esteem. That's the first step. If YOU keep believing nobody would want you, then others will start to believe it too. Smile Toots, we know how it is...you'll be ok. -Jen
I told my daughter this: everyone is messed up (clean version), the key to a happy relationship is finding someone messed up Just Like You are. Not necessarily in the Same way, but similar.
I would definately let a potential interest for more know that you have MS. Of course thats after dating casually and becoming friends. Marriage is sooo much more than sex and work. Make that clear as soon as it turns serious.
Go out and have fun as much as possible. Date. You have the advantage of having more women on this planet than men. And good ones ARE out there.