Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
This community is a place where members can discuss current events and weigh in on what's going on in the world.
everyone in my medical menagerie seems to think i have MS. i finally bit the bullet and saw a neurologist. he ordered an MRI which was FINALLY done today. so now i have to wait another week to hear if anything showed up.
i am at my wits end with worry. what if i DO have it? what if i don't? either way .. i am numb all over from time to time. i drop things. i have headaches that last for days. i lose my temper easily. i have some weird unexplainable anemia. i have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, restless leg syndrome, and chronic fatigue. i feel weak and shakey all the time. i get UTIs a lot. a week ago i took a hot bath trying to get my sore neck to relax .... and when i came out of the bathroom ... it looked like the whole house was filled with smoke. my vision was all screwed up like i was looking through fog. i saw an eye dr the next day ... no neuritis ... but he wants more tests. i have broken dishes and spilled things, sometimes i can't lift a plate of food from the counter to the table. if i walk to the end of the lane to get the mail, i have to rest because i am so shakey i am worried i wont make it back to the house.
i am just sick and tired of being sick and tired. sick of never knowing what it wrong. sick of not being able to play with my kids, sick of worrying what i will drop next, sick of pins and needles, sick of waiting to hear from one dr or another ....
i have tried to keep it all from my husband and family so they wont worry. but now i am finding myself scared to death and pretty alone.
sorry ... i think i just had an online tantrum. does any of this sound familiar to anyone?
i am at my wits end with worry. what if i DO have it? what if i don't? either way .. i am numb all over from time to time. i drop things. i have headaches that last for days. i lose my temper easily. i have some weird unexplainable anemia. i have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, restless leg syndrome, and chronic fatigue. i feel weak and shakey all the time. i get UTIs a lot. a week ago i took a hot bath trying to get my sore neck to relax .... and when i came out of the bathroom ... it looked like the whole house was filled with smoke. my vision was all screwed up like i was looking through fog. i saw an eye dr the next day ... no neuritis ... but he wants more tests. i have broken dishes and spilled things, sometimes i can't lift a plate of food from the counter to the table. if i walk to the end of the lane to get the mail, i have to rest because i am so shakey i am worried i wont make it back to the house.
i am just sick and tired of being sick and tired. sick of never knowing what it wrong. sick of not being able to play with my kids, sick of worrying what i will drop next, sick of pins and needles, sick of waiting to hear from one dr or another ....
i have tried to keep it all from my husband and family so they wont worry. but now i am finding myself scared to death and pretty alone.
sorry ... i think i just had an online tantrum. does any of this sound familiar to anyone?
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I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
At first, before I was offically diagnosed, but when I was pretty sure that I had MS, I was absolutely terrified and close to panic. I went to see my priest, encountered the secretary, and wound up spilling my worries to her. I found out that she has MS (light case) and when Father Wilhelm came into her office, found out his mother also has it. Wow! I was amazed. Both individuals reassured me that MS is not a death sentence, but involves more of a restructing of one's life and priorities. I have actually gained a lot having this disease, believe it or not. The secretary has become a wonderful friend and when people found out, I received so many prayers, cards, and a lot of concern.
I couldn't have kept this worry (initial worry) to myself without going nuts. No, I didn't want my family to worry, but I told them about the possibility. I wound up reassuring them!
I've kept a positive attitude since my initial panic (I was terrified, believe me) and used a lot of humor. I think MS gets 'fed' from fear.
I understand your fear and anxiety! I will pray that you will soon be diagnosed (although it took two months for this to happen for me). I have also read that learning one has MS is a grieving process. I went through this a little, but not a lot. Who knows? Maybe I haven't even accepted it yet!
Did anyone else go through a grieving process? I think it may be hard to know for sure since depression goes hand in hand with this crazy disease.
You WILL be Okay! Really! But do share your worries with others, especially your husband. My hubby went with me for the lumbar puncture and I was really glad. I did all of the other stuff myself and it was so nice not to have to drive when he was with me.
Don't be concerned about an 'online' rant! I think we've all had them!
Take care--be kind to yourself--and rant anytime on this forum that you want. You'll find a huge amount of caring and support here. I am so greatful that I found this site.
Eloise
Don't keep the worry and fear from the ones who are closest to you. Not only will it drive you nuts, but chances are, they already know that something is wrong, and are already scared. Broaching the subject of MS gives everyone a chance to begin coping.
MS isn't a death sentence, but it is a "life sentence." Coping with it has made me be absolutely clear about how I use my energy, how I feel about vulnerability, and how I move through unpredictability. It has forced me to realize that I'm much more than my body, and has reminded me to feel ALL of my feelings from rage to deep grief to terror about the future.
MS has encouraged me to be more empathetic to others, and compassionate with myself. It has forced me to reach out and ask for help, and has allowed me to give back to others, especially those who are newly diagnosed. It has reminded me not to take my body for granted, and become an active partner in my own health -- and an advocate for others.
It's not a path I would have chosen for myself, nor one I would wish on anyone, but this journey had also "grown" me into the woman I am -- and am still becoming.
i have so very much to be thankful for. MS or not ... I think that most of 'me' is still in here somewhere. instead of being impatient about the things that i miss doing, i think i need to focus more on the blessings all around me. (i knew that ... i think i just forgot to remember .. which happens to me a lot lately too! LOL)