
Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
This community is a place where members can discuss current events and weigh in on what's going on in the world.

deleted_user
Hi, my boyfriend has MS. He was diagnosed over 6 years ago. I am not sure which kind he has. He avoids discussing his illness with me. He has a tremor on one hand and his muscles sometimes get stiff. We have been together for a few years now and are considering marriage. Lately, I have been thinking about his disease and what I should expect if we marry. Can people live normal lives with this illness?
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katie
If you are wondering what MS is like there are some wonderful websites that lists symptoms and treatments...theres also the National MS society online they have lots of info also.Its hard to say what to expect, it treats everyone differently and
he could be one of the lucky ones and have no more symptoms the rest of his life, or he could become alot worse. I wish I could say.Not even a doc can tell you what to expect.
Hugs and best wishes.
Morgaine
ps don't let his illness stand in the way of ur love for him ;)
And Helen I am sorry you still have anger towards me, I am so sorry I pushed your buttons. Please forgive me?
You said it all YOU LOVE HIM VERY MUCH. Take the days as they come and enjoy. Go to MS Support Meetings with him.
Come here and ask us for info whenever you want.
Send us wedding photos and a piece of cake...
(((HUGS))) Mary
It's totally understandable that you're concerned. Your boyfriend needs to let you in on what's going on with him. You also need to be honest with him about how you're feeling so that together you can make a decision about your future with eyes wide open...not only about the extent of his potential physical disability, but how together you are going to face life's challenges (MS and otherwise). Would you consider couples counseling before gettinng engaged? not a bad idea to get on the same page if you're open to it. Good luck, I can see how this could be very hard for both of you. Diane
Hugs Ellen
Glad you put up the post. I wish you well! Hugs Ellen
Some people can lead almost normal lives with ms, for the rest of their lives. Others can go downhill really fast suddenly and for no reason at all. It would have nothing to do with living right, eating right, excerising or positive thinking. It is just the way of MS. You will never know and the doctors would never know. It happens soo slow you can hardly notice or crashing down like a train.
I think you really should weight up both options and see if you are willing to support him no matter what happens. There may even be a cure in 10 years. However he may also need a wheel chair, need to sleep 15 hours a day. You may need to help him feed himself. He may not be able to make love in the normal way. He may not be able to work and bring in good money. He will however, still be him. The man you love. So if he stays the way he is now or goes to the worst it could be will you still have enough love to stay with him.?
When you say marrige vows it is for sickness and in health, richer or for poorer. Please do not say them unless you mean it.
To say them and brake them later when he needs your support the most he as ever needed it in his life, is the most cruel.
I hope i havn't been hurtful either, but this is the truth. I really do admire the fact that you are considering all the options before taking the plunge.
Remember also, as Bonster said, none of us know when are last day is on this earth and you could even die first.
Cheerful arn't I.?
I have relapsing-remitting MS and I've made this far in life. And MS is not gonna stop me from moving on. It might slow me down a little but it's not gonna stop me.
Let me know what's up.
While it won;t make a difference as far as your love and commitment, I do beleive that you all need to chat about the MS and whatever else you all need to get out in the open.
I just think that it would be hard to go into a any marriage without all cards on the table. To me, I think that includes health issues. I hope that your boyfriend will share his health issues with you, and that he is not fearful.
lisa