None of my friends know that I have MS, and of my family only my parents and sisters [- little brother] know and they want to keep it that way until they figure out how to tell people or until it really starts to show and people start questioning it..
But I feel so terrible about it, everyone just makes fun of me and i cant tell them what is really is, i cant bring myself to do it and i dont know why.
Yesterday my boyfriend was just sitting there rubbing my back and he had this puzzled look on his face, because he felt how bumpy and uneven my spine was [the doctors say its because of the MS, just my body reacting to it I guess] and I just told him,, I have Multiple Sclerosis, it just kinda gets worse as I get older.
He didnt say anything, he has no idea what it is and didnt think it was in the least serious at all and I couldnt bring myself to tell him what it is or how it affects me..
Why couldnt I tell him?? Why cant I tell anyone?? I feel so horrible all the time, I want someone to talk to about it but I just cant.. I dont know what to do anymore. And yesterday just kinda drew the line for me.