I have never felt so crappy. I can't do anything. Any little bit of physical effort leaves me hot, dizzy, and exhausted. I feel nauseas. I feel strange. I hate this.
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It was Christmas eve in Lapland and Santa was having a most horrendous day. The fence in the reindeer field had broken and 3 of the reindeer had wandered off. The elves were refusing to work as the heater in the workshop had broken down, and Mrs Santa was in a foul mood as she had overcooked the turkey and ruined it. Just then there was a knock at the door, and when Santa opened it there was a...
(This is supposedly a true story.)As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of very expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. "Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I...