Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group

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Husband with MS, Dealing with Anger and Withdrawl.

For the last week, my hubby(dx 2003) has been angry, withdrawn and all together in a "funk."

I think it's a relapse, due to his other symptoms of neck and shoulder pain and fatigue.

I just don't know how to deal when he is mean and won't talk. I don't know what to do to help him and I forget to forgive sometimes.

How can I make these times easier for him and our family?
I just want to cry.
I don't want us to fall apart,and he can't see it until the funk rises away.

any suggestions would rock!
thanks

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

From a guys perspective.... When we get depressed we don't get sad and weepy, we get withdrawn and are quick to anger. We feel something is out of our control and it REALLY bothers us to not be able to control things. You add MS in to the mix and you just have to see its going to happen. My wife of 9 years has learned that when I am feeling this way, she just does her best to leave me alone when it comes to what seems like the big important things and to just focus on me and her while getting our minds off of the thing making us upset. This is what she has told me when I come out of it. So then we spend more quality time with me apologizing and her being glad for the genuine attention. Neither one of us can afford to get upset about how we each respond to the problems that we have. We just need to be more forgiving and loving.

I hope this helps!!

GE
Laughter
Laughter

I had the same problem with anger and depression. Fixed it by going on prozac and it works feel good now and pleasant to be with.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Oh yes I forgot... I also am taking Cymbalta, it helps with the pain and tension as well as the depression.

GE
SpyderNCSU
SpyderNCSU

As a guy, my answer came by the name...Lexapro... a big blessing in a tiny white pill.
My wife will second the motion.
deb727
deb727

I was much like your husband, very withdrawn, ill, snapping at my husband all the time. I started Prozac about 4 months ago, but I had to take the Prozac Weekly because I can't remember to take the dang pill every day. My husband told me the other day that he has seen a dramatic difference, and while I still have my moments, I am feeling much better.
deleted_user
deleted_user

From someone who has MS...its a tuff world. I personally feel as though I am alone. But, I have very loveling family/friends. Just don't give up. Listen. Love. And, give him is space when needed. Life is too short, live it-love it - while you can.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thank you all so much for your advice and support.
We are in the middle of our first BIG relapse in 4 years.
It's amazing how your whole world turns on end.
We are getting by though and can see the other side.
Finding this site has helped a lot
So thank you all!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I have to agree with bio tho men in general handle things differently..as women we turn to our spouses for support and love when we are in need and hurting or sad and depressed. But men turn in on them selves and try to fix the problem themselves. I agree also that a anti depressant might be the answer and maybe a counselor to talk with, as I know it really helped my hubby to come to grips with my MS and his diabetes...
he went mostly becuz of me but he was suffering from his diabetes also and that didn't help...
hope this helped and I wish you and your family a happy holidays.
Hugs
Morgaine