A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party.
>He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
>
> A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
>
> Dear Sir,
> Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief
>will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just
>right as a pirate.

> Very truly yours,
> Acme Costume Co.
>
> The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his
>wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
>
> Dear Sir,
> Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover
>your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.
> Very truly yours,
> Acme Costume Co.
>
> Now the man is really upset since they have gone from
>emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he
>writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he
>gets a small parcel and a note, which reads:
>
> Dear Sir,

> We have TRIED our very BEST .
> Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed
>nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick
>your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.

> Very truly yours,
> Acme Costume Co.